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Nowadays, parents don't have the time to play with their children anymore. What activity should they ask the children to do during the period: have fun playing games/sports, or spend time with schoolwork?

Nowadays, parents don't have the time to play with their children anymore. What activity should they ask the children to do during the period: have fun playing games/sports, or spend time with schoolwork? 9LBdX
Today's life makes both parents work, and this prevents them having a lot of time to spend with their children. Although some people think that parents should use this limited time in child's schoolwork, I believe they should use this time to have fun with their children. Playing strengthens parents and child relationship and helps both of them. Moreover, if their child needs help with schoolwork, parents have the option to employ a tutor. Playing or having fun activities plays a positive role in child and parents relation. Without it, children might feel lonely and unhappy. So the parents should use their limited time with the utmost consideration that benefits their child. Being unhappy or feeling lonely can affect child's performance in school. For example, if a child feels lonely, he or she might not listen to the teacher lecture in class which finally results in low grades. Similarly, parents are also benefited from playing. After hours of working in office or company, it is reasonable that the children find them reluctant to help with the schoolwork. Playing and having, however, is quite tempting for any person which convince parents to engage in it to be happier and more energetic. On the other hand, if the parents feel that their child needs help with the schoolwork, they should consider employing a tutor for their child because they can not offer their child a professional help and it may exacerbate the problem. A child needs a sustainable help to improve in his or her schoolwork. Consider a situation where a child is weak in his mathematics and parents decide to spend their limited time to help him, first they should take some time to remember course material and then they start helping him. In sum, using limited time playing sport is a more profitable option for both children and their parents as I stated in preceding lines. Nonetheless, parents are not trained to help their children in schoolwork, so they should turn this responsibility to an experienced tutor.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
work, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schoolwork
, I believe they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to have fun with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
strengthens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
relationship and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
both of them.
Moreover
, if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schoolwork
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the option to employ a tutor.

Playing or having fun activities plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
relation. Without it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might feel lonely and unhappy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the utmost consideration that benefits their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. Being unhappy or feeling lonely can affect child's performance in school.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
feels lonely, he or she might not listen to the teacher lecture in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
which
finally
results in low grades.

Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
also
benefited from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
. After hours of working in office or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, it is reasonable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
find them reluctant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schoolwork
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
and having,
however
, is quite tempting for any person which convince
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to engage in it to be happier and more energetic.

On the other hand
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schoolwork
, they should consider employing a tutor for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can not offer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
a professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
and it may exacerbate the problem. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
needs a sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schoolwork
. Consider a situation where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is weak in his mathematics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
decide to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him,
first
they should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to remember course
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
material and
then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
helping him.

In sum, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
sport is a more profitable option for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as I stated in preceding lines. Nonetheless,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not trained to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schoolwork
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should turn this responsibility to an experienced tutor.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, parents don't have the time to play with their children anymore. What activity should they ask the children to do during the period: have fun playing games/sports, or spend time with schoolwork?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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