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Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pay some of or all of the costs. Is it a positive or negative development?

Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pay some of or all of the costs. Is it a positive or negative development? 9rX10
It is a fact that some countries have paid full or partial fees at school for children. This development has introduced both positive and negative aspects because of the benefits and drawbacks which have been brought to human life. It is clear that paying for children’s education would bring about several advantages. One evident strength for each person is that government-funded school fees can help less affluent families who are worried about the cost of education relieve the money burden. Because of it, the financial support from authorities for education will encourage more children to go to school. More over, their parents can have more money to spend on food, medical care for them. As a result, illiteracy rate will be reduced, and it may significantly contribute to the development of the country due to better workforce. Turning to another perspective, there are also many drawbacks that the government could gain because of this development. Firstly, a huge amount of money that the authorities spend for school fees would take effects on the national budget, leading to investment decrease on other fields. For instance, healthcare services and other sectors of economy might not be given much attention. Furthermore, some people who pay tax may feel unfair, especially who have no child. In conclusion, paying for children’s education would effects on both positive and negative side. On one hand, it can relieve the burden for less affluent family. On the other hand, it would take effects on the whole national budget
It is a fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries have paid full or partial fees at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This development has introduced both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the benefits and drawbacks which have
been brought
to human life.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that paying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
would bring about several advantages. One evident strength for each person is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
-funded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
fees can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
less affluent families who
are worried
about the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
relieve the money burden.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of it, the financial support from authorities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will encourage more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. More over, their parents can have more money to spend on food, medical care for them.
As a result
, illiteracy rate will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, and it may
significantly
contribute to the development of the country due to better workforce.

Turning to another perspective, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could gain
because of this
development.
Firstly
, a huge amount of money that the authorities spend for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
fees would take effects on the national budget, leading to investment decrease on other fields.
For instance
, healthcare services and other sectors of economy might not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
much attention.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who pay tax may feel unfair,
especially
who have no child.

In conclusion
, paying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "effect"
effects
on both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side. On one hand, it can relieve the burden for less affluent family.
On the other hand
, it would take effects
on the whole
national
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
budget
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IELTS essay Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pay some of or all of the costs. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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