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Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. with this opinion? awARP
Raising a good person, who can handle and face life’s problems, is not that easy. The popular opinion is that children who are born or raised in a wealthy family can’t face future challenges, while middle and low-class families are better at preparing their offspring. I personally believe better parenting is more important regardless of family wealth. To begin with, in middle and low-class families, however; children have a difficult childhood. Their parents teach them how to work hard to have a better life and how to deal with problems. Also, they are raised that education is so important and it is the only tool to get out of financial challenges. For instance, the highest score in my college was most of the time from middle and low-class families. As they believe that getting a high score will open a wide door to find a good job. On the other hand, children from the high class have a lot of blessings and facilities. They are raised in a healthy relaxing lifestyle. Also, they gain well education and career opportunities. They have a big chance to learn how to be a good businessman and to handle any challenges in his early childhood. Besides, to be a risk-taker person. For instance, Dr. Magdy Yacoub is from a wealthy family and is a very good citizen and cardiologist. He helps society by donating and saving lives. To sum up, although most people claim that children who are born in families that do not have large money are better prepared to deal with problems. I think that life needs all levels and parenting is the key to have a good citizen regardless of family wealth.
Raising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
person, who can handle and face life’s problems, is not that easy. The popular opinion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are born
or raised in a wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can’t face future challenges, while middle and low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
at preparing their offspring. I
personally
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
parenting is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
regardless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
wealth.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in middle and low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
however
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a difficult childhood. Their parents teach them how to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life and how to deal with problems.
Also
, they
are raised
that education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
tool to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of financial challenges.
For instance
, the highest score in my college was most of the time from middle and low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they believe that getting a high score will open a wide door to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job.

On the other hand
,
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children
from the high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
blessings and facilities. They
are raised
in a healthy relaxing lifestyle.
Also
, they gain well education and career opportunities. They have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chance to learn how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
businessman and to handle any challenges in his early childhood.
Besides
, to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
-taker person.
For instance
, Dr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Magdy
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yacoub
is from a wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
citizen and cardiologist. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
society by donating and saving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To sum up, although most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are born
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that do not have large money are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
prepared to deal with problems. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that life needs all levels and parenting is the key to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
citizen regardless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
wealth.
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IELTS essay Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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