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Children spend more time on television than other activities, who is responsible for this.

Children spend more time on television than other activities, who is responsible for this. E3qeq
The topic of children spending more time on television than on other sports have become a heated debate. Although many people assert that family remembers and friends are responsible for children television viewing, the others refute this proposition saying that parents are responsible for children actions. This essay will discuss why parents are responsible for their children values and reach a logical conclusion. There are myriad of arguments which find out why parents are held responsible for children television watching in which the most preponderant one is that parent give fewer times to youngsters due to busy social life. Furthermore, parents want to attend parties and gathering with friends, and children left at home there by resulting in more television watching. For instance, a study proved that about 30% of the children in every country have no outdoor activities and watch television because of busy parents. Hence, parents are directly responsible for their children TV watching. Another pivotal aspect of this talk would be that some parents have a busy office life and get a very short time to rest thereby no interaction with kids at all. Furthermore, sometimes parents have to go outside of the city or country for business and children cannot go outside thereby no physical or outdoor activity offered. For instance, a survey revealed that only in the USA about 80% of the children spent time at home and not playing because of parents busy routines. Thus, due to parents work many children suffer and watch TV at home. In conclusion, this essay discussed why parents are responsible for their children TV viewing in terms of busy social and physical life. Therefore, in my opinion, parents should give more career to children by involving them in different physical and mental activities to excel them for fruitful future life.
The topic of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
than on other sports have become a heated debate. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that family remembers and friends are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
viewing, the others refute this proposition saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
actions. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
values and reach a logical conclusion.

There are myriad of arguments which find out why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are held
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
watching in which the most preponderant one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
give fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to youngsters due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want to attend parties and gathering with friends, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
at home there by resulting in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
watching.
For instance
, a study proved that about 30% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in every country have no outdoor activities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
TV watching.

Another pivotal aspect of this talk would be that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to rest thereby no interaction with kids at all.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the city or country for business and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot go outside thereby no physical or outdoor activity offered.
For instance
, a survey revealed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the USA about 80% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home and not playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
routines.
Thus
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
suffer and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV at home.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
TV viewing in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
social and physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should give more career to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by involving them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
physical and mental activities to excel them for fruitful future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Children spend more time on television than other activities, who is responsible for this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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