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Children should do organized group activities in their free time while others believe children should be free to do what they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Children should do organized group activities in their free time while others believe children should be free to do what they want. gPrg
Some people believe that children should engage in extra-curricular activities, whereas others claim that youths should be free to choose what activities they want to do in their leisure time. There is a multitude of reasons to explain on both sides, which I'll shed light on now. On the one hand, participating in club activities in free time brings a handful of benefits. Thousands of research have proved that concur in these activities help improve essential soft skills to children never fail to mention teamwork, interpersonal and cooperation when they take part in these activities. For instance, if teenagers engage in a basketball team, they will learn how to work with their teammates and bounce with them to achieve their best. More precisely like, if they're alongside supervisors, then they will most likely become greater confident and safer under the guidance. On the other hand, each person has their hobbies, hence, the best way to enhance their skills is allowed to do what they want in their own leisure time. Also, it will be unwise if we force children to do what they have no interest in. Moreover, doing whatever they want in their free time helps them find out their hidden potentials. Furthermore, the independence of their choice lets kids take up challenges and responsibilities. Last but not least, up to my opinion, I think the latter one is the top-quality supply because let them do everything they want, they will do it in a positive direction. Whereas in contrast, if we force kids to do what we want, they will become melancholy and uncomfortable. To sum up, I reiterate my viewpoint by saying that we should encourage children to do what they immensely want in their own free time.
Some
people
believe that
children
should engage in extra-curricular
activities
, whereas others claim that youths should be
free
to choose what
activities
they
want
to do in their leisure
time
. There is a multitude of reasons to
explain
on both sides, which I'll shed light on
now
.

On the one hand, participating in club
activities
in
free
time
brings a handful of benefits. Thousands of research have proved that concur in these
activities
help
improve
essential soft
skills
to
children
never fail to mention teamwork, interpersonal and cooperation when they
take part
in these
activities
.
For instance
, if
teenagers
engage in a basketball team, they will learn how to work with their teammates and bounce with them to achieve their best.

More
precisely
like, if they're alongside supervisors, then they will most likely become greater confident and safer under the guidance.

On the other hand
, each person has their hobbies,
hence
, the best way to enhance their
skills
is
allowed
to do what they
want
in their
own
leisure
time
.
Also
, it will be unwise if we force
children
to do what they have no interest in.
Moreover
, doing whatever they
want
in their
free
time
helps
them find out their hidden potentials.
Furthermore
, the independence of their choice
lets
kids take up challenges and responsibilities.

Last
but
not least, up to my opinion, I
think
the latter one is the top-quality supply
because
let
them do everything they
want
, they will do it in a
positive
direction. Whereas
in contrast
, if we force kids to do what we
want
, they will become melancholy and uncomfortable. To sum up, I reiterate my viewpoint by saying that we should encourage
children
to do what they
immensely
want
in their
own
free
time
.
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IELTS essay Children should do organized group activities in their free time while others believe children should be free to do what they want.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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