Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children? W0QK
Recently more and more children have become addicted to TV programs, as a result, they have spent less and less time outdoors. It has become possible due to the huge number of easily accessible channels as well as the variety of kids' targeted programs. Though there are several strategies to increase the activity level of children, and some of them will be discussed further. The main reason why kids spend such a significant amount of hours watching TV is that television has become more accessible and the number of TV programs, that target children have increased. Nowadays hundreds of channels are available for viewing through cable, the internet, or even satellite. Also, there a lot of options for kids to choose from, such as entertaining TV shows, cartoons, anime. For example, years ago a lot of parents used to tell their children not to spend the whole day in front of the TV and it left no choice but to spend some time outdoors. Things have changed since that time and modern kids could easily take a smartphone and watch any show on it. However, doing something creative or interesting should be proposed to children to motivate them to be more active. A lot of different activities to suit different tastes are available in the modern world. It could be ice- or roller- skating, going to a pool to swim or making toys or anything else as long as it is not boring for the kid. Besides, many diverse children's hobby clubs are available on the market. For instance, if the kids are interested in horses, the parent can simply enroll them in a riding club. To conclude, children spend much time watching TV because of the easy access to numerous channels and amount of entertaining shows. Nevertheless, to keep children being more active they could join a hobby club or do sports that are interesting to them.
Recently more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have become addicted to TV programs,
as a result
, they have spent less and less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
outdoors. It has become possible due to the huge number of
easily
accessible channels
as well
as the variety of kids' targeted programs. Though there are several strategies to increase the activity level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them will
be discussed
further
.

The main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
such a significant amount of hours watching TV is that television has become more accessible and the number of TV programs, that target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have increased. Nowadays hundreds of channels are available for viewing through cable, the internet, or even satellite.
Also
, there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
options for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to choose from, such as entertaining TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, cartoons, anime.
For example
, years ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the whole day in front of the TV and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
outdoors. Things have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
since that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
could
easily
take a smartphone and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
on it.

However
, doing something creative or interesting should
be proposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to motivate them to be more active.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities to suit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tastes are available in the modern world. It could be ice- or roller- skating, going to a pool to swim or making toys or anything else as long as it is not boring for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diverse children's hobby clubs are available on the market.
For instance
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are interested
in horses, the parent can
simply
enroll them in a riding club.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the easy access to numerous channels and amount of entertaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.
Nevertheless
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
being more active they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a hobby club or do sports that are interesting to them.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts