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Children nowadays prefer electronic games over outdoor ones why is it happening is it positive or negative development

Children nowadays prefer electronic games over outdoor ones why is it happening is it positive or negative development pbnyd
Today children prefer video games as compared to outdoor activities. I believe that it is negative development and I will discuss it in the forthcoming paragraphs. Nowadays children prefer some electronic games than playing outdoor games children have more interest in electronic games and after some days they have addiction of it. when children are started playing electronic games then they are started ignore to outdoor games. As a consequently they do not physically fit due to Lake playing games and they are reeling under various health problems such as eye sight, headache and also more problems. what is more, if children play with electronic gadgets then they may feel very stressed as well as they also feel tired but with the assistance of outdoor games then they can feeling happy, active, unstressed and also feel good Probing further, if children play 24 hours electronic games then they may be indulged in obesity problems because if they are sitting continually then in their health indulge allot of obesity in their body. As a result, children may be reeling under various health issues such as, ouxiety, do not increase their height, problems in sitting and standing and high blood pressure. To conclude today every children gives more preference to electronic gadgets which is more harmful in their health and also their mind whereas outdoor games are more helpful for their health.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prefer video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
activities. I believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development and I will discuss it in the forthcoming paragraphs.

Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
than playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days they have addiction of it. when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
then they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. As a
consequently
they do not
physically
fit due to Lake playing
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
games and
they are reeling under various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as
This word is usually spelt together: "eyesight".
eye sight
, headache and
also
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
is more, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
gadgets then they may feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
as well
as they
also
feel tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the assistance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
then they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "feel"
feeling
happy, active, unstressed and
also
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good


Probing
further
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play 24 hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
then they may
be indulged
in obesity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they are sitting
continually
then in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
indulge
Did you mean "a lot of" (=plenty)?
allot of
obesity in their body.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may be reeling under various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues such as,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ouxiety
, do not increase their height,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in sitting and standing and high blood pressure.

To conclude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
gives more preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
gadgets which is more harmful in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
also
their mind whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are more helpful for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
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IELTS essay Children nowadays prefer electronic games over outdoor ones why is it happening is it positive or negative development

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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