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Children nowadays are playing less and less sport and this is having a bad effect on their health and their behaviour

Children nowadays are playing less and less sport and this is having a bad effect on their health and their behaviour DqJ2o
Today, children are likely to be incelent and they are not interested in sports anymere, this problem impacts them badly. There are several reasons for this, however, this problem can be solve by many solutions. On the one hand, This problem is caused by some reasons. Firstly, kids are spanding most of their time in front of. The TV or other kinds electronic devices and they don't want to go outsicle. This lead to some negative troubles about their health and attitudes such being Lazy or eye problems. Secondly, having less sport facilities which is good for children to to ke part in different kinds of sports. This means that they can not g do sports to be physically and mentally healthing As a result, kids can be more inactive in doing exercises. On the other hand, there are some solutions can be applied to deal with this problem. First, parents should limit their use g technological devices, besides, family members can de sports with their kids to modivate them doing various exercises Second, the government should build more places to do some activities so that children can come to do play and meet new friends. In conclusion, nowadays, children are inactive to do sports. However, there are several causes which leads to exercising less, but some various solutions can be used to solve it. Parents and the government should raise children's awareness being active for healthy life and well behaving.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are likely to be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
incelent and
they are not interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake found.
anymere
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
impacts them
badly
. There are several reasons for this,
however
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can be
Consider using the past participle "solved"?
solve
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions.

On the one hand, This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is caused
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Firstly
, kids are
Possible spelling mistake found.
spanding
most of their time in front of. The TV or other kinds electronic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
devices and
they don't want to go
Possible spelling mistake found.
outsicle
. This lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
troubles about their health and attitudes such being Lazy or eye
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Secondly
, having less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
Possible spelling mistake found.
ke
part in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This means that they can not g do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to be
physically
and mentally
Possible spelling mistake found.
healthing
As a result
, kids can be more inactive in doing exercises.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions can
be applied
to deal with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
First
, parents should limit their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
g technological devices,
besides
, family members can
Possible spelling mistake found.
de
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
with their kids to
Possible spelling mistake found.
modivate
them doing various exercises Second, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should build more places to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to do play and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends.

In conclusion
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are inactive to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
However
, there are several causes which leads to exercising less,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
various solutions can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to solve it. Parents and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should raise children's awareness being active for healthy life and well behaving.
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IELTS essay Children nowadays are playing less and less sport and this is having a bad effect on their health and their behaviour

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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