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Children in rural areas are being left behind in ttheir academic developments why is this the case? what solution can you suggest?

Children in rural areas are being left behind in ttheir academic developments why is this the case? what solution can you suggest? OVopd
There is no doubt that the education system has been implemented equally for urban and rural areas by authorities. However, nowadays many rural areas have poor literacy rates. This essay will explore the valid problems related to the lower rate of academic development and suggest the measures to overcome them. To begin with, one major problem can be the mentality of local people. As they are living in a remote area with an old-fashioned mentality, they force their children to work along with them after getting primary education. In many cases, younger ones have to work in order to support their family financially. Because of the aforementioned situations, the adolescent would start earning at their early age by ending their educational path. To solve this problem, a prominent step by the state authority can be an education awareness program targeting the true value of study, and this should be focused not only on youth groups but also elderly people of rural areas. Another detrimental factor could be the worst management authority of the teaching department. This is because most schools from villages are lacking educated teachers and lab equipment. Students have to be engaged by teachers towards the study in order to maintain interest and motivation. This can be achieved by standardizing the minimum requirements to become a teacher. Many times a practical knowledge is essential to maintain interest in education by providing practical labs. This will be implemented by cross-checking and monitoring real-time usage of labs after providing financial aid to build it in school. In conclusion, the traditional mindset would lead young workers to support the family economically and the absence of educated teachers and Labs could demotivate the interest of students. These are the critical problems that are preventing the academic education of the rural youth generation. Nevertheless, this can be solved by restricting low standards of becoming a teacher, providing funds for labs and educational seminars, and these are the responsibilities of the state governor of education.
There is no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system has
been implemented
equally
for urban and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas by authorities.
However
, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas have poor literacy rates. This essay will explore the valid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to the lower rate of academic development and suggest the measures to overcome them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can be the mentality of local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. As they are living in a remote area with an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned mentality, they force their children to work along with them after getting primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, younger ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work in order to support their family
financially
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the aforementioned situations, the adolescent would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning at their early age by ending their educational path. To solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, a prominent step by the state authority can be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
awareness program targeting the true value of study, and this should
be focused
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on youth groups
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas.

Another detrimental factor could be the worst management authority of the teaching department. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most schools from villages are lacking educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lab
equipment. Students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be engaged
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
towards the study in order to maintain interest and motivation. This can
be achieved
by standardizing the minimum requirements to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
times
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "practical knowledge".
a practical knowledge
is essential to maintain interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
by providing practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labs
. This will
be implemented
by cross-checking and monitoring real-time usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labs
after providing financial aid to build it in school.

In conclusion
, the traditional mindset would lead young workers to support the family
economically
and the absence of educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Labs
could demotivate the interest of students. These are the critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that are preventing the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
youth generation.
Nevertheless
, this can
be solved
by restricting low standards of becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
, providing funds for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labs
and educational seminars, and these are the responsibilities of the state governor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay Children in rural areas are being left behind in ttheir academic developments why is this the case? what solution can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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