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Children have too much freedom nowadays.

Children have too much freedom nowadays. 3aODl
In recent years, due to the development of communications most parents have become open-minded and their children have much more freedom as other children in the past. However, there have been some arguments between people that children may not be free and there must be some limits for them. On the whole, there have been some noticeable reasons supporting this idea that freedom is an essential thing for children nowadays. Firstly, if children have almost noun or limited freedom, then they are confined by their parents. However, it would encourage them to achieve what they want to do. For example, if a parent doesn't let their boy have a computer and internet connection, they would do anything that helps them to achieve one of them. The boy will do anything to have them, he would say some lies to his parents or pass the school to go out with other friends. He can go to some places that have free wifi. He can play the computer games which he may not play with his other friends. Nevertheless, it can’t be a good idea to limit them and they always will find some solutions. On the other hand, the idea that freedom for children is an important thing can be supported by several reasons, but the main feature before this is that they need to be guided and informed by their parents about what are the results of the options given them. On the internet, there are a lot of websites and games supporting violence, as an example. Children can find them easily. But if parents inform them of the results such as having trouble sleeping and stimulating violence on their behaviours, then it will reduce their interest. Furthermore, there will be a striking decrease in the encouragement of them to play those kinds of games and watch some videos that have bad effects; however, informing children before making them free is necessary. In sum up, limitation on everyone and essentially children has bad effects. Encouraging them to find solutions to achieve what they want. In contrast, if they are informed about the results, then it would help them to be knowledgeable to make a good decision. Children need to be free and be informed about freedom.
In recent years, due to the development of communications most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have become open-minded and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the past.
However
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
and there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limits for them.
On the whole
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
noticeable reasons supporting this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
is an essential thing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays.
Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have almost noun or limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
, then they
are confined
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
However
, it would encourage them to achieve what they want to do.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their boy have a computer and internet connection, they would do anything that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to achieve one of them. The boy will do anything to have them, he would say
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lies to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or pass the school to go out with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
friends. He can go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places that have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
. He can play the computer games which he may not play with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
friends.
Nevertheless
, it can’t be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to limit
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'will' and 'find'.
always will find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing can
be supported
by several reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the main feature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
this is that they need to
be guided
and informed by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about what are the results of the options
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
them. On the internet, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
websites and games supporting violence, as an example.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can find them
easily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
inform them of the results such as having trouble sleeping and stimulating violence on their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, then it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their interest.
Furthermore
, there will be a striking decrease in the encouragement of them to play those kinds of games and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
videos that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects;
however
, informing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
is necessary. In sum up, limitation on everyone and
essentially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects. Encouraging them to find solutions to achieve what they want.
In contrast
, if they
are informed
about the results, then it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be knowledgeable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decision.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
need to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
and
be informed
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
.
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IELTS essay Children have too much freedom nowadays.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
376 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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