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Children are the purest gifts that the natural mother

Children are the purest gifts that the natural mother d5JKK
Children are the purest gifts that the natural mother has given to us. To value children, people around the world celebrate many holidays for kids such as The International’s Children Day held on the first day of June. In VietNam, there is also an important occasion only for Vietnamese children called Mid-Autumn Festival. The festival occurs on the fifteenth day of August every year in the Lunar calendar. It is the time for parents to play and catch up with their kids after having hands full with work. In this celebration, parents often excitedly tell “The moon man and his banian tree” story to their kids as the origin of the day, and Vietnamese children need to light up the road with beautiful lanterns for the return of the moon man to the Earth. Besides, parents also take their kids out and enjoy the festival with relatives, friends, or neighbors. This occasion is a good day to help bring people together as well as strengthen love among different generations. On this special day, Vietnamese people have to carefully prepare for it. Four things that are essential for preparing for the occasion are fruits, mooncakes, lanterns, and lion dances. People tend to use seasonal fruits such as bananas, grapes, apples, mangos, logan fruits to create a Five-fruit Tray, and so on, worship the God of Earth with mooncakes and snacks during the night. Besides traditional mooncakes, new variations with different crust and cake filled have been created to make them more delicious as well as do not become obsolete. Mid-Autumn Festival always occurs at the beginning of the first semester of school, so children can receive many lucky wishes from family members for a coming study year. On those days, lion dancing teams will stand in front of the house and ask for dancing in the yard, which is believed to bring luck and fortune for the house owner. These lion dances are fascinating, and huge numbers of children, ranging from little kids to teenagers, participate in this activity. As a result of having so many groups of children marching around, the streets of the cities echo with the sound of drums, as dozens of lions roam about. In conclusion, the Mid-Autumn Festival plays an important role in Vietnamese culture because it expresses a certain beauty in the beliefs of citizens in this country. Over thousands of years, the ancestor of the Vietnamese tried their best to preserve this celebration despite many difficulties throughout history. Hence, the young generations have the responsibility to maintain this to be a long-lasting tradition of VietNam.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are the purest gifts that the natural mother has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to us. To value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
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people
around the world celebrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
holidays for
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kids
such as The International’s
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Children
Day held on the
first
day of June. In
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VietNam
, there is
also
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
occasion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for Vietnamese
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children
called Mid-Autumn Festival.

The
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festival
occurs on the fifteenth day of August every year in the Lunar calendar. It is the time for parents to play and catch up with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
after having hands
The usual collocation for "full" is "of" not "with". Did you mean "full of"?
full with
work. In this celebration, parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
excitedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
“The moon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and his
Possible spelling mistake found.
banian
tree” story to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
as the origin of the day, and Vietnamese
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children
need to light up the road with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
lanterns for the return of the moon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to the Earth.
Besides
, parents
also
take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
out and enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
with relatives, friends, or neighbors. This occasion is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
day to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together
as well
as strengthen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations.

On this special day, Vietnamese
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people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carefully
prepare for it. Four things that are essential for preparing for the occasion are fruits,
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mooncakes
, lanterns, and
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lion
dances.
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People
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
seasonal fruits such as bananas, grapes, apples,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "mangoes", the plural form of the noun 'mango'?
mangos
,
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logan
fruits to create a Five-fruit Tray, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, worship the God of Earth with
Possible spelling mistake found.
mooncakes
and snacks during the night.
Besides
traditional
Possible spelling mistake found.
mooncakes
, new variations with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
crust and cake filled have
been created
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more delicious
as well
as do not become obsolete.

Mid-Autumn
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Festival
always occurs at the beginning of the
first
semester of school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
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children
can receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lucky wishes from family members for a coming study year. On those days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lion
dancing teams will stand in front of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
dancing in the yard, which
is believed
to bring luck and fortune for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
owner. These
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lion
dances are fascinating, and huge numbers of
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children
, ranging from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, participate in this activity.
As a result
of having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
marching around, the streets of the cities echo with the sound of drums, as dozens of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lions
roam about.

In conclusion
, the Mid-Autumn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Festival
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in Vietnamese culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it expresses a certain beauty in the beliefs of citizens in this country. Over thousands of years, the ancestor of the Vietnamese tried their best to preserve this celebration despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties throughout history.
Hence
, the young generations have the responsibility to maintain this to be a long-lasting tradition of
Possible spelling mistake found.
VietNam
.
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IELTS essay Children are the purest gifts that the natural mother

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
431 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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