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Farming is the backbone of every country but nowadays many youngsters hesitate to enter this job. Some believe this is because other jobs are more alluring and lucrative. Others say it is because farming is an insecure job. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Farming is the backbone of every country but nowadays many youngsters hesitate to enter this job. Some believe this is because other jobs are more alluring and lucrative. Others say it is because farming is an insecure job. BlPO5
Agriculture plays a major role in every nation yet these days many young people are reluctant to enter this profession. Some people argue that the reason behind this is other jobs are not only more exciting but also well-paid. While others, me included, believe farming insecurity is the main cause of this. When trying to root cause this hesitation some say that other jobs are more attractive than farming. For example, consider the workplace. Many jobs are indoor activity and are mainly in the office which is always clean and tidy having the pleasant smell of perfumes and coffee aromas while in farms are always messy having an unpleasant odour of muck around. Also, these people argue that other jobs income are more than agriculture due to the fact that the farming income highly depends on the quality of agriculture commodities. when the quality is low so nobody purchases these products leaving no money for farmers while other jobs salaries are mainly permanent. On the other hand, Others argue that agriculture is a dangerous occupation including a lot of risks, depending on climate and environmental conditions. Usually, kids under 15-year-old and men over 65 years are likely to be injured or killed in farms, for instance, Pesticides and herbicides can cause injuries such as burns, respiratory illness or poisoning. In addition, injuries inflicted by animals including bites, kicks and transmission of certain infectious disease could be other hazards. Moreover, climate changes may cause disaster in farms. When a storm hits a farm and ruin all the crops there is neither agriculture commodities nor money. So all of these hazards bring insecurity preventing youth to be farmers. In conclusion, although agriculture is the most important industry in every country due to hazards and insecure conditions, many young people are unwilling to have this job. Governments should encourage youth by providing financial incentives and academic training.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Agriculture
plays a major role in every nation
yet
these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are reluctant to enter this profession.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the reason behind this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
more exciting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
well-paid. While others, me included, believe farming insecurity is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of this.

“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
trying to root
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
this hesitation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are more attractive than farming.
For example
, consider the workplace.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are indoor activity and are
mainly
in the office which is always clean and tidy having the pleasant smell of perfumes and coffee aromas while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
are always messy having an unpleasant
Possible spelling mistake. 'odour' is British English.
odour
of muck around.
Also
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "jobs'" or "job's"?
jobs
income are more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
due to the fact that the farming income
highly
depends on the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
commodities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
the quality is low
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
nobody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
these products leaving no money for farmers while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
salaries are
mainly
permanent.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, Others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
occupation including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, depending on climate and environmental conditions.
Usually
, kids under 15-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
over 65 years are likely to
be injured
or killed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
,
for instance
, Pesticides and herbicides can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
injuries such as burns, respiratory illness or poisoning.
In addition
, injuries inflicted by animals including bites, kicks and transmission of certain infectious disease could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hazards.
Moreover
, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
disaster in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
. When a storm hits a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farm
and ruin all the crops there is neither
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
commodities nor money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
all of these hazards bring insecurity preventing youth to be farmers.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
industry in every country due to hazards and insecure conditions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unwilling to have this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should encourage youth by providing financial incentives and academic training.
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IELTS essay Farming is the backbone of every country but nowadays many youngsters hesitate to enter this job. Some believe this is because other jobs are more alluring and lucrative. Others say it is because farming is an insecure job.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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