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Children are less active than they were in the past. Therefore, sport lessons should be compulsory. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Children are less active than they were in the past. Therefore, sport lessons should be compulsory. 2RGaw
Over the last few decades, children are getting less and less active in their free time then they used to, and because of this, some suggested that making sports lessons should be mandatory at school, of which I partly agree with. On the upper hand, the governments would ought to waste a large portion of money on medical services to these unfit people, which could be seen in a staggering 80% of children being too fat or too thin in the US. Furthermore, physical activities improve young lings both mentally and physically, since they won't have any friends or strength without spending time together. Moreover, playing games together is a lesson about discipline, thus these young lings needs to learn about teamwork as well. In contrast, there are some downsides with this. For example, PE means more sport facilities, so not every school can afford to do that. To add up with that, spending too many time going outside will consume students lots of valuable study time, which is even worse with those who don't adore playing sports. In addition, computers, televisions, with many other entertaining services are also factors that cause the inactivity in this group of people, so limiting their time at these is also an alternative solution. To sum up, making sports lessons compulsory has some excellent benefits, but there're some holding them back, so I don't think this is the best idea in my opinion
Over the last few decades, children are getting less and less active in their free
time
then they
used
to, and
because of this
,
some
suggested that making
sports
lessons should be mandatory at school, of which I partly
agree
with. On the upper hand, the
governments
would ought to waste a large portion of money on medical services to these unfit
people
, which could be
seen
in a staggering 80% of children being too
fat
or too thin in the US.
Furthermore
, physical activities
improve
young lings both mentally and
physically
, since they won't have any friends or strength without spending
time
together.
Moreover
, playing games together is a lesson about discipline,
thus
these young lings needs to learn about teamwork
as well
.
In contrast
, there are
some
downsides with this.
For example
, PE means more
sport
facilities,
so
not every school can afford to do that. To
add
up with that, spending too
many
time
going outside will consume students lots of valuable study
time
, which is even worse with those who don't adore playing
sports
.
In addition
, computers, televisions, with
many
other entertaining services are
also
factors that cause the inactivity in this group of
people
,
so
limiting their
time
at
these is
also
an alternative solution. To sum up, making
sports
lessons compulsory has
some
excellent benefits,
but
there're
some
holding them back,
so
I don't
think
this is the best
idea
in my
opinion
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IELTS essay Children are less active than they were in the past. Therefore, sport lessons should be compulsory.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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