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Many people spend a large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings. Others think that it is unnecessary to spend so much on these events. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Whether people should spend huge sums of money on hosting birthdays and wedding ceremonies is a topic of debate. Many believe it is a waste of funds to expend large amounts on these events. In my opinion, important milestones in ones life should not be celebrated with a lot of money because it can be used to sort out other pressing issues. This essay will also discuss the other view in more details. Spending lavishly on events is relevant, according to some people. Perhaps, the reason is that celebrations, such as birthdays and weddings leave beautiful memories. Participants would most likely remember an event that was exquisite with expensive drinks and food. High profile events usually make it to popular news blogs which serve for good exposure to the celebrants. Many also squander money on weddings to showoff or to maintain an already presumed societal status. One of the most memorable birthdays of the century was hosted by Sheikh Mamoud son who invited guest celebrities from all over the globe. He even rented a whole island simply for this purpose. The broader detriment of over-spending on parties is invaluable, if not more, important. This is simply due to the unforeseen circumstances that an individual may find himself or herself later in life. All there is to partying are eating and drinking, and the money spent is gone. In an instance where a health challenge comes up, some may find themselves seeking financial help. Minimizing our spending on parties is, therefore, necessary, since there is no positive outcome from it. People should instead make donations to charities or save up for bills, such as housing maintenance and taxes that can render them broke if the money is not available as at when due. To sum up, it is true that spending high amounts on parties is not necessary. The reason is that this money can use utilized to good use during emergency situations.
Whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should spend huge sums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on hosting birthdays and wedding ceremonies is a topic of debate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe it is a waste of funds to expend large amounts on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
milestones in
Did you mean “one’s”?
ones
life should not
be celebrated
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to sort out other pressing issues. This essay will
also
discuss the other view in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

Spending
lavishly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is relevant, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Perhaps, the reason is that celebrations, such as birthdays and weddings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
memories. Participants would most likely remember an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
that was exquisite with expensive drinks and food. High profile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it to popular news blogs which serve for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
exposure to the celebrants.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
also
squander
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on weddings to showoff or to maintain an already presumed societal status. One of the most memorable birthdays of the century
was hosted
by Sheikh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mamoud
son who invited guest celebrities from all over the globe. He even rented a whole island
simply
for this purpose.

The broader detriment of over-spending on parties is invaluable, if not more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. This is
simply
due to the unforeseen circumstances that an individual may find himself or herself later in life. All there is
The word ‘to’ seems to be wrong here. “partying” is a present participle verb.
to partying
are eating and drinking, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent
is gone
. In an instance where a health challenge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may find themselves seeking financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Minimizing our spending on parties is,
therefore
, necessary, since there is no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome from it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should
instead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
donations to charities or save up for bills, such as housing maintenance and taxes that can render them broke if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not available as at when due.

To sum up, it is true that spending high amounts on parties is not necessary. The reason is that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
utilized to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
during emergency situations.
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IELTS essay Many people spend a large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings. Others think that it is unnecessary to spend so much on these events.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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