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Certoin peopre believe fhot the only wdy fo reduce crime is senlencing criminols for longer lime periods, while olhers believe ollernolive mefhods should be used lo lower crirnes. Discuss bolh views ond give your opinion.

Certoin peopre believe fhot the only wdy fo reduce crime is senlencing criminols for longer lime periods, while olhers believe ollernolive mefhods should be used lo lower crirnes. Discuss bolh views ond give your opinion. aJK3w
There are many different opinions on the best way to reduce crime. Some people say that long term prison is the only way to curb crime, whereas others say that education, vocational training and rehabilitation are better. This essay intends to analyse both perspectives. There are many arguments given by those who advocate longer terms in prison to combat crime. They say that there are criminals who are a risk to the society, such as murderers. They cannot be made to mix with society. There are also mentally insane people such as serial killers who should be kept away from the people. lf such criminals are set free soon, they will reoffend and so should be in penitentiaries for longer terms. On the other hand, there are many convincing arguments given by those against long term imprisonment. Firstly, in traditional prisons, petty criminals learn a lot about crime, and so when they leave prison they commit even more crime. ln other words prisons act as universities of crime. So petty offenders like shoplifters and pickpockets should be given some vocational training and education. lt is a well-known fact that the basic causes of crime are poverty, illiteracy and unemployment. So, if we provide education and job training, then we would be removing the causes of crime. lf criminals are rehabilitated by some form of employment, then they would certainly not re-offend. Furthermore, the prisons are expensive to maintain. The government can spend that money on other important matters such as education and healthcare. This would ease some burden off the government's shoulders. The petty and minor criminals can also be employed in some community service projects after providing education and vocational training. Summing up, we should hate the crime and not the criminal. To fight crime we should focus on the causes of crime. Education and job training help to rehabilitate the criminals. Longer terms in prison are not the answer to fight crime. Focus should be on reforming the criminals.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions on the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
term
prison

is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to curb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, whereas others say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and rehabilitation are

better. This essay intends to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both perspectives.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by those who advocate longer terms in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
to combat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. They say

that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to the society, such as murderers. They cannot
be made
to mix with

society. There are
also
mentally insane
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such as serial killers who should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
away from the

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lf
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are set
free
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
, they will
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffend
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
should be in penitentiaries for longer

terms.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
convincing arguments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by those against long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
term
imprisonment.

Firstly
, in traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
, petty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
learn a lot about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
they

commit even more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ln
other words
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
act as universities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
petty offenders like

shoplifters and pickpockets should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
is a well-known fact

that the basic causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are poverty, illiteracy and unemployment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if we provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and

job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, then we would be removing the causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are rehabilitated
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
form of

employment, then they would
certainly
not re-offend.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
are expensive to maintain. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can spend that money on other

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
matters such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
burden off the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's

shoulders. The petty and minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
can
also
be employed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
community service projects after

providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and vocational training.

Summing up, we should hate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
. To fight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
we should focus on the causes

of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
and job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to rehabilitate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. Longer terms in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
are not the

answer to fight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Focus should be on reforming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
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IELTS essay Certoin peopre believe fhot the only wdy fo reduce crime is senlencing criminols for longer lime periods, while olhers believe ollernolive mefhods should be used lo lower crirnes. Discuss bolh views ond give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
331 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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