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Certain people think that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership since the dawn of the time.

Certain people think that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership since the dawn of the time. Throughout the history, Male leadership encourages violence and some other sets of people suggest considering female leadership to prevail peace. The issue whether or not 'female leadership can be considered as a better option to prevail peace' is always a debatable issue. There are strong arguments from both the sides and let us discuss in a detailed way. Firstly, World history clearly suggests violence were more evident under male leadership. An instance illustrating this in action is first and second world wars. Male leadership encouraged violence in those 2 worlds wars and it is proved that violence is more evident under male leadership. In addition to this, women are against violence by nature and suffer a lot because of the violence thus the women leadership always try to prevail peace. For example, some Asian countries tried to restore the peace during women leadership. It is obvious from this that women leadership can be considered to bring back the peace There is always an opposite side of the coin. Certain women leadership proved that they are ready to encourage violence. To illustrate this, Pakistan started a war during women leadership and it clearly proves that peace cannot be restored by changing leadership. In addition to this, Bangladesh also saw a great deal of internal violence during women leadership only. It is clearly proved that violence can be evident under women leadership also. Thus it is recommended, to prevail peace in all circumstances irrespective of women or men leadership. Peace can prevail in many ways and consider female leadership is only one of those options.
Certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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violence
and conflict were more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evident
under male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
than under female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
since the dawn of the time. Throughout the history, Male
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leadership
encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other sets of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest considering female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevail
peace.

The issue
Consider shortening this phrase to just “whether”. It is correct though if you mean ‘regardless of whether’.
whether or not
'female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
can
be considered
as a better option to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevail
peace' is always a debatable issue. There are strong arguments from both the sides and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us discuss in a detailed way.

Firstly
, World history
clearly
suggests
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
were more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evident
under male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
. An instance illustrating this in action is
first
and second world wars. Male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in those 2 worlds
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
wars and
it
is proved
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evident
under male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
by nature and suffer a lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
always try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Asian countries tried to restore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
. It is obvious from this that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
can
be considered
to bring back the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
peace


There is always an opposite side of the coin. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
proved that they are ready to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
. To illustrate this, Pakistan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a war during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
leadership and
it
clearly
proves that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
cannot
be restored
by changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
.
In addition
to this, Bangladesh
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a great deal of internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. It is
clearly
proved that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evident
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
also
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it
is recommended
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
in all circumstances irrespective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Peace
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevail
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways and consider female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one of those options.
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IELTS essay Certain people think that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership since the dawn of the time.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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