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Causes of Worldwide Land Degradation

Causes of Worldwide Land Degradation p7Aa
Nowadays, there are any opportunities for high school to improve their mandatory activities with positive action, such as community services. It's crucial for some persons to make community services become obligatory for high school likes attempt joining charity program, decreasing the ability or capability the neighbourhood or give sport lessons for teenager or younger children. In this essay, I believe it should be required due to soaring the social skills for high school students. Firstly, in the future there are many challenges in social life due to improvement of IT that will affect the way people socialize. The IT make people become far than before, because people tend to exist in the social media than in the real life. Because of that, we can not see how poor people or the people need us to solve their problem. If we lucky, we can enjoy our life with prosperity and wealth, but we never know how the people as not lucky as us to pass their live. Our sensitivity will be sharped by community services. We will learn how to understanding and care to each other and how to contribute. For instance, the parents who taught their children to share a part of their money to poor people since they child will have good interpersonal skills and care to each other. Then, they have ability to solve social problem in anywhere. Unfortunately, not all of people agree with this. Some people believe, sciences is most important than this. It because technology always improve from year to year. But, without social skills and do not understand what the technology that people need, we can not apply our science knowledge in the real life. In conclusion, community services are important activities and should be obligatory part of high school activities. The reason is clear, we need understand each other to solve problems and not being as individual part but as team works.
Nowadays, there are any opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their mandatory activities with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
action, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. It's crucial for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
become obligatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
likes attempt joining charity program, decreasing the ability or capability the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
or give sport lessons for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
or younger children. In this essay, I believe it should
be required
due to soaring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students.

Firstly
, in the future there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life due to improvement of IT that will affect the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
socialize. The IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become
Use "farther", "further" to make a comparison with this adjective.
far
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to exist in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Use "(media)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
media
than in the real life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, we can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need us to solve their problem. If
It seems that a verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here. Please verify.
we lucky
, we can enjoy our life with prosperity and wealth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we never know how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as not lucky as us to pass their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Our sensitivity will
be sharped
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. We will learn how to understanding and care to each other and how to contribute.
For instance
, the parents who taught their children to share a part of their money to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they child
will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and care to each other. Then, they have ability to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
problem in anywhere.

Unfortunately, not all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe, sciences is most
Use "(important)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
important
than this. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
technology always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
from year to year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and do not understand what the technology that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need, we can not apply our science knowledge in the real life.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
activities and should be obligatory part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
activities. The reason is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, we need understand each other to solve problems and not being as individual part
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as team works.
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IELTS essay Causes of Worldwide Land Degradation

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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