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Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam' How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam' How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars? J1na
For the past thirty years, cars ownership is increase as in the past and resulting a traffic jam. Many evidence that supporting this statement and government has a new rules for using a cars. Firstly, in the big cities all over has a vehicle such as cars. The price for the cars is not that high as in the past and the reason of it is has a new technology for cars and the old technology of those cars will decreased the price. For example, the sport cars is got a higher price than a common car and it makes the company for old technology cars is lowering their price for takes many costumers. Secondly, the government now has a new rules for the ownership of cars. It is called the even and odd plate rules. In the high way in a crowded cities, they only take an agreement based from the date. For instance, if the date is an odd number then is only and odd number plate of that can go in and otherwise. In conclusion, a huge group of people own their own cars by the decreased the price in the cars company. The government also trying to limit of wear a cars in a day.
For the past thirty years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
ownership is increase as in the past and resulting a traffic jam.
Possible agreement error. The noun evidence seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much evidence", "a good deal of evidence".
Many evidence
that supporting this statement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "rule"?
rules
for using
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a car" or simply "cars"?
a cars
.

Firstly
, in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities all over has a vehicle such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is not that high as in the past and the reason of it is has a new technology for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
technology of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
will decreased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
.
For example
, the sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
than a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is lowering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
for takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
costumers.

Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "rule"?
rules
for the ownership of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. It
is called
the even and odd plate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. In the high way in a crowded
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "city"?
cities
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
take an agreement based from the date.
For instance
, if the date is an odd number
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
and odd number plate of that can go in and
otherwise
.

In conclusion
, a huge group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
by the decreased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
in the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "cars'" or "car's"?
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
trying to limit of wear a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in a day.
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IELTS essay Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam' How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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