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Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, people are more interested in buying things online like books, booking air tickets, provisions. Although buying things online would make our purchase easy and time manageable but some people may find that online shopping would be difficult to access and things that are bought online wouldn't satisfy their needs. In my opinion, buying things on the internet could be more feasible like one can shop from one's own place without going out anywhere and could save time. The greatest benefit of shopping online is to make our purchase flexible and thus by carrying out the purchases online would eventually result in effective time management. People are willing to get their work done in an easier way and thus avoid tiring aspects where it is required to go to a particular place. For instance, people are in a world where everything is accessed and attained in a virtual manner. Furthermore, it is now very easy to buy books where one has to read the basic content and check the rate of the book. Everyone is getting adapted to this kind of environment irrespective of their ages. Therefore, more people show keen interest in purchasing things online and thus creating a trend with an added comfort. On the contrary, there are people who still remain ignorant about the term called online shopping where they find it so difficult to order a particular object like a book, tickets, etc. In addition, some people would have satisfaction only if they go to that specific place to buy things. For example, some believe buying groceries would not be recommendable online because that would result in damages of items that they have bought. Predominantly the older people might find it hard to get easily accessed to the purchasing phenomenon. Thus, people have a negative view over online shopping and believe that things would always be in a damaged way. To sum up, buying things online will leave a way to buy things according to our own comfort and to manage the time effectively.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, booking air tickets, provisions.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
easy and time
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
manageable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may find that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
would be difficult to access and things that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
wouldn't satisfy their needs. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things on the internet could be more feasible like one can shop from one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place without going out anywhere and could save time.

The greatest benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
flexible and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
by carrying out the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
would
eventually
result in effective time management.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their work done in an easier way and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
avoid tiring aspects where it
is required
to go to a particular place.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in a world where everything
is accessed
and attained in a virtual manner.
Furthermore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
where one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
read the basic content and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the rate of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. Everyone is getting adapted to this kind of environment irrespective of their ages.
Therefore
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
keen interest in purchasing things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
creating a trend with an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
comfort.

On the contrary
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
still
remain ignorant about the term called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
where they find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
difficult to order a particular object like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, tickets, etc.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have satisfaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they go to that specific place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
groceries would not be recommendable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that would result in damages of items that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
.
Predominantly
the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
accessed to the purchasing phenomenon.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
view over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and believe that things would always be in a damaged way.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things according to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
comfort and to manage the time
effectively
.
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IELTS essay Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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