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business company many a lot of

business company many a lot of pKj80
Some people believe that making a profit is the top priority of all businesses. However, they should aware of their responsibilities for society. And I would agree with this idea that companies are obliged to contribute more to society than making money. There are many compelling reasons why businesses spend the most preference to gain profits. In fact, it is important for all companies to make money in order to survive in a competitive market. Since, they have to pay a lot of money such as staff’s wages or payments for buildings facilities, and also advertisements may cost them an arm and a leg to appeal to customers. And after paying the cost of maintaining, they may continue to invest in expanding their companies. Thus, when they get profits, they will contribute to the development of society. Despite the aforementioned idea, I would contend that in addition to striving for more and more money, companies also play a role in society to fulfill societal needs. Firstly, businesses could spend the proportion of their profits on paying taxes, which is the main source of money for the government to pay for workers, which means it helps them to have a job with a stable income. Secondly, the manufacture of consumer products is the key factor that leads to many environmental problems. For instance, there are many exhaust fumes and emissions given off by factories, which contribute to increasing the level of air pollution. So, companies should compensate for the damage which they caused by adapting new environmentally-friendly technologies to protect the Earth’s natural resources and purity. Also, they have to provide more opportunities for local people, who are affected by the consequences of the company's industrialization. In short, all the businesses should take responsibility with the whole society. In conclusion, I totally agree that companies should pay more attention to helping social issues besides maximizing profits to run a business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
is the top priority of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
However
, they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
should aware
of their responsibilities for society. And I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are obliged
to contribute more to society than making money.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
compelling reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
spend the most preference to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
. In fact, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in order to survive in a competitive market. Since, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
such as staff’s wages or payments for buildings facilities, and
also
advertisements may cost them an arm and a leg to appeal to customers. And after paying the cost of maintaining, they may continue to invest in expanding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
Thus
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
, they will contribute to the development of society.

Despite the aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, I would contend that
in addition
to striving for more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
also
play a role in society to fulfill societal needs.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
could spend the proportion of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
on paying taxes, which is the main source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to pay for workers, which means it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to have a job with a stable income.
Secondly
, the manufacture of consumer products is the key factor that leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
environmental problems.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
exhaust fumes and emissions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
off by factories, which contribute to increasing the level of air pollution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should compensate for the damage which they caused by adapting new
environmentally
-friendly technologies to protect the Earth’s natural resources and purity.
Also
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide more opportunities for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the consequences of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's industrialization. In short, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
should take responsibility with the whole society.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should pay more attention to helping social issues
besides
maximizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
to run a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
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IELTS essay business company many a lot of

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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