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Briefly describe yourself, list your major accomplishments and discuss why they are meaningful to you.

Briefly describe yourself, list your major accomplishments and discuss why they are meaningful to you. 2x7bJ
My name is Pattrawadee Srimarut. My nickname is Porpor. Currently, I am a senior high school student at Patumwan Demonstration School in the major of Japanese and English. Let me start by giving some background information about the motivation that made me today. Three years ago, I was a student at Saint Joseph Convent School for 9 years since primary school. But one day, I realized that my life has to change to have a new fresh journey, so I decided to transfer to another school, which is Patumwan Demonstration School. After passing the exam, I selected my major as Japanese and English. At that moment, everything was new and exciting to me. Every year in this school, I always tried harder and harder to be the best version of myself in every part of life which is both good grades and happiness. Having persistence and determination, I managed it well to maintain grades not less than 3. 80 GPA and have a peak at 4. 00 GPA. Moreover, the unbelievable thing was that I scored the 2nd highest score in mathematics which makes me start thinking about my new passion “BBA”. On the other hand, happiness, I learned a lot from school activities. For example, the significant influence is that once I had the opportunity to be a guidance teacher to educate the students in grades 7 to 9 about Japanese majors. I learned a lot from this experience, such as to be much more responsible, communicative, and teamwork-oriented as my duty is to be the representative of a Japanese major. Leading to nowadays, I would like to challenge myself more at the BBA International program. Despite majoring in Japanese and English, I realized that my overall motivation now is more BBA. However, I will not let the Japanese away. In order to do that, I have dedicated more time and effort to both Japanese and examinations that lead to BBA’s goal. That has made me become more motivated and concentrated to work harder to get two things done well. Eventually, I ended up with impressive scores in both of them and this is my intention to become a BBA student at Chulalongkorn University. Furthermore, the next pathway is that I plan to major in Finance or Accounting. The fact that I love mathematics and money. I think both programs are going to be interesting and relevant to my interests.
My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pattrawadee
Possible spelling mistake found.
Srimarut
. My nickname is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Porpor
.
Currently
, I am a senior high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Patumwan
Demonstration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
of Japanese and English.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
by giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
background information about the motivation that made me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Three years ago, I was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
at Saint Joseph Convent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
for 9 years since primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
one day, I realized that my life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to have a new fresh journey,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I decided to transfer to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Patumwan
Demonstration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
. After passing the exam, I selected my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
as Japanese and English. At that moment, everything was new and exciting to me.

Every year in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I always tried harder and harder to be the best version of myself in every part of life which is both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades and happiness. Having persistence and determination, I managed it well to maintain grades not less than 3. 80 GPA and have a peak at 4. 00 GPA.
Moreover
, the unbelievable thing was that I scored the 2nd highest score in mathematics which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
thinking about my new passion “BBA”.
On the other hand
, happiness, I learned a lot from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
activities.
For example
, the significant influence is that once I had the opportunity to be a guidance teacher to educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in grades 7 to 9 about Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
majors
. I learned a lot from this experience, such as to be much more responsible, communicative, and teamwork-oriented as my duty is to be the representative of a Japanese major.

Leading to nowadays, I would like to challenge myself more at the BBA International program. Despite majoring in Japanese and English, I realized that my
overall
motivation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is more BBA.
However
, I will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the Japanese away. In order to do that, I have dedicated more time and effort to both Japanese and examinations that lead to BBA’s goal. That has made me become more motivated and concentrated to work harder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
two things done well.

Eventually
, I ended up with impressive scores in both of them and this is my intention to become a BBA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chulalongkorn
University.
Furthermore
, the
next
pathway is that I plan to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
in Finance or Accounting. The fact that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
mathematics and money. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both programs are going to be interesting and relevant to my interests.
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IELTS essay Briefly describe yourself, list your major accomplishments and discuss why they are meaningful to you.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
401 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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