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Both the reading and the lecture try to discuss paper form and electronic form of medical information about a patients in the United States.

Both the reading and the lecture try to discuss paper form and electronic form of medical information about a patients in the United States. n6D22
Both the reading and the lecture try to discuss paper form and electronic form of medical information about a patients in the United States. In the reading section, the writer contends that storing medical information in electronic form can be highly beneficial and provides three reasons for support; in contrast, the professor casts doubts on reading points by indicating that the advantages of the electronic form are uncertain. First of all, in the reading, the writer claims that electronic records are cost effective compared to the paper records, because, in this way, they can decline costs by eliminating required storage space which is used to maintain paper forms, and also doctors can readily access to electronic forms from everywhere they want; However, the professor rejects this notion by stating that doctors need storage space even after adopting to electronic forms because they need to keep paper forms as a backup and maybe they will refer to them in the future. Moreover, the reading passage holds the view that electronic records can prevent potential errors because they have standard forms; on the contrary, the lecturer underlines the fact that electronic records cannot eliminate errors because in this process, also doctors use pen, paper, and take notes by hand. and staffs should later enter this information in computer and save them as electronic forms, so it is likely that they make mistakes and cannot interpret doctors' notes correctly. In addition, the writer mentions that electronic records can be used in research projects; conversely, the professor states that there are some restricted privacy laws in the United States for using medical information; , as a result researchers have to follow these restricted laws. Moreover, According to theses laws, their permit to use medical information for any purpose maybe will be blocked.
Both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and the lecture try to discuss paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a patient" or simply "patients"?
a patients
in the United States. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
section, the writer contends that storing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
can be
highly
beneficial and provides three reasons for support;
in contrast
, the professor casts doubts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
points by indicating that the advantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
are uncertain.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, the writer claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
are cost
effective compared to the paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in this way, they can decline costs by eliminating required storage space which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to maintain paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
, and
also
doctors can
readily
access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
from everywhere they want;
However
, the professor rejects this notion by stating that doctors need storage space even after adopting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
as a backup and maybe they will refer to them in the future.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
passage holds the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
potential errors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
;
on the contrary
, the lecturer underlines the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
cannot eliminate errors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this process,
also
doctors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
pen, paper, and take notes by hand.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
staffs should later enter this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in computer and save them as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is likely that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes and cannot interpret doctors' notes
correctly
.

In addition
, the writer mentions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in research projects;
conversely
, the professor states that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restricted privacy laws in the United States for using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
as a result
researchers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow these restricted laws.
Moreover
, According to
Did you mean "these"?
theses
laws, their permit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for any purpose maybe will
be blocked
.
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IELTS essay Both the reading and the lecture try to discuss paper form and electronic form of medical information about a patients in the United States.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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