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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

It is often debated that for some people salary plays a significant role in their lives rather than a lovely job. It is often argued that it is more relevant to work in one organization and have a certain amount of money. This essay agrees that choosing a good job is an important thing in our lives. It is clear that people spend most of their time at work. Moreover choosing a job where person will be happy is the best decision in our whole lives. However, we should remember that it is not common help children at schools to find out their talents. As a result of it will be easy for them to choose their future profession and dream job. For example, in Kazakhstan workplaces are limited due to the small job market. Sometimes people do not have an opportunity to study or work where they want. We need more organizations and coaches that will focus on professional orientation. Some people think that a decent wage is more important in work. Due to world’s current situation when the majority of people were fired, men are lucky if they have a job with a great salary. Prices and taxes rise every year, and men also should have extra money. To sum up, everyone knows finding a job that people will love and inspire is the meaning of their life. So searching for new work experiences, exploring and studying will help us to get a job that we want.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debated that for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
salary plays a significant role in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
rather
than a lovely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that it is more relevant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in one organization and have a certain amount of money. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that choosing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend most of their time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
where person will be happy is the best decision in our whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, we should remember that it is not common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children at schools to find out their talents.
As a result
of it will be easy for them to choose their future profession and dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, in Kazakhstan workplaces
are limited
due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have an opportunity to study or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
where they want. We need more organizations and coaches that will focus on professional orientation.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a decent wage is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Due to world’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation when the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were fired
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are lucky if they have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a great salary. Prices and taxes rise every year, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
also
should have extra money.

To sum up, everyone knows finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and inspire is the meaning of their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
searching for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experiences, exploring and studying will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that we want.
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IELTS essay Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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