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Big companies should have their head quarters in rural areas. Do you agree or disagree?

Big companies should have their head quarters in rural areas. gWM21
In present days, rural areas are not being develop. One school of thought says that companies ought to have their headquarters in rural areas. Companies should not have their headquarters in rural areas because in rural areas the basic facilities are not available and their are not educated employees. To begin with, various reasons are responsible for why big companies don't have there headquarters in rural areas. In rural areas basic facilities are not available. To elaborate, villages are remote areas it is hard to reach. In these areas their is not good electricity and also they don't get good transportation facilities. In which they face various problems in works. Similarly, the rural areas are backward and they don't have better education. For instance, when big companies move their headquarters to rural areas they need educated employees to work. Due to the lackness of money, they don't get better education, in which companies dont get educated employees. To conclude, developed companies should not have their headquarters in rural areas because the basic facilities are not available and their is not educated employees.
In present days,
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rural
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areas
are not being
Consider using a past participle here: "developed".
develop
. One school of
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thought
says that
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companies
ought to have their
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headquarters
in
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rural
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areas
.
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Companies
should not have their
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headquarters
in
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rural
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areas
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because
in
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rural
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areas
the basic facilities are not available and
Did you mean "there"?
their
are not
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educated
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employees
. To
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begin
with, various reasons are responsible for why
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big
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companies
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don't
have there
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headquarters
in
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rural
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areas
. In
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rural
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areas
basic facilities are not available. To elaborate, villages are remote
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areas
it is
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hard
to reach. In these
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areas
Did you mean "there"?
their
is not
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good
electricity and
also
they
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don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
transportation facilities. In which they face various problems in works.
Similarly
, the
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rural
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areas
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
backward and
they
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don't
have better education.
For instance
, when
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big
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companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
their
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headquarters
to
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rural
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areas
they need
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educated
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employees
to work. Due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lackness
of money, they
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don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better education, in which
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companies
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
To conclude
, developed
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companies
should not have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
headquarters
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the basic facilities are not available and
Did you mean "there"?
their
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.

IELTS essay Big companies should have their head quarters in rural areas.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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