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benefits of visiting the zoo

benefits of visiting the zoo nVb6l
As far as I’m concerned, there are two main benefits of visiting the zoo. Firstly, as we know that a zoo is an artificial conservation whose mission is to protect animals, thus, when we come there, we will have a chance to broaden our understanding of animal’s life. Moreover, we can observe them with daily activities and maybe catch some adorable moments of them. Consequently, in an unconscious way, we raise awareness of our responsibility in conservating wildlife. Secondly, visiting the zoo is also an effective stress buster. We can come here to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city to close to nature. We can come here with family as it can help reinforce family bonding.
As far as I’m concerned, there are two main benefits of visiting the zoo.
Firstly
, as we know that a zoo is an artificial conservation whose mission is to protect animals,
thus
, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
there, we will have a chance to broaden our understanding of animal’s life.
Moreover
, we can observe them with daily activities and maybe catch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adorable moments of them.
Consequently
,
Consider replacing "in an unconscious way" with the adverb for "unconscious"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an unconscious way
, we raise awareness of our responsibility in
Possible spelling mistake found.
conservating
wildlife.
Secondly
, visiting the zoo is
also
an effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
here to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from the hustle and bustle of the city to close to nature. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
here with family as it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
reinforce family bonding.
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IELTS essay benefits of visiting the zoo

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
120 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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