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Being a celebrity such as famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits do you think that being a celebrity bring more benefits or more problems

Being a celebrity such as famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits do you think that being a celebrity bring more benefits or more problems Qexx
To become a celebrity is a dream of many people, but in many cases this brings problems too. However, I believe that being a celebrity potentially has much greater advantages comparing to its drawbacks. In following I will express my point of view furthermore. To begin, I think this issue highly depends on the person’s personality and nature, but generally speaking, I believe being celebrity brings along some unique opportunities. Firstly, a celebrity gains lot of money, which itself is a great benefit. Who doesn’t like money, beside, with that prodigious wealth they can play a positive role within the society. Opera Winfrey, for instance, with the help of all the money she gained from being a celebrity, now runs numerous charities which all have positive attribution to the community. Secondly, celebrities are role models, they can encourage people towards success. Undoubtedly many people, specially youngsters do follow the path of celebrities. Additionally, it is not far from truth if we say that celebrities can act as a leader, Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzeneggerare are only few examples of celebrities who decided to play the role of leader. Finally, the third benefit I believe is the opportunity to make people happy. The ability to entertain people is a great advantage and this leads to great sense of satisfaction among celebrities. Not many people have this chance, just look at the joy that singers or movie stars bring to people’s heart, which I believe this is priceless. To sum up, I have no doubt that being a celebrity brings along some difficulties, however, I see much more advantages in it.
To become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
is a dream of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
problems too.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
potentially
has much greater advantages comparing to its drawbacks. In
The comma is probably missing here: "following, I".
following I
will express my point of view
furthermore
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this issue
highly
depends on the person’s personality and nature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
generally
speaking, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
along
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unique opportunities.
Firstly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
gains lot of money, which itself is a great benefit. Who doesn’t like money, beside, with that prodigious wealth they can play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role within the society. Opera Winfrey,
for instance
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of all the money she gained from being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
runs numerous charities which all have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attribution to the community.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are role models, they can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards success.
Undoubtedly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
specially
youngsters do follow the path of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
.
Additionally
, it is not far from truth if we say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
can act as a leader, Ronald Reagan and Arnold
Possible spelling mistake found.
Schwarzeneggerare
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few examples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
who decided to play the role of leader.

Finally
, the third benefit I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
is the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happy. The ability to entertain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a great advantage and this leads to great sense of satisfaction among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have this chance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
look at the joy that singers or movie stars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
heart, which I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
this is priceless.

To sum up, I have no doubt that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
along
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties,
however
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
much more advantages in it.

IELTS essay Being a celebrity such as famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits do you think that being a celebrity bring more benefits or more problems

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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