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Because if people got knowledge then they went to try to stay healthy

Because if people got knowledge then they went to try to stay healthy 9L500

There is no denying the fact that, nowadays the number of ailments are increasing day by day. Some people believe that the government should be spent large amount of money on health education as well as preventative measures. While, other people the view, In my opinion i agree with this statement the authority should be spent huge amount of money on preventive measures because if people get knowledge then they try to maintain healthy lifestyle.

There is no denying the fact that, nowadays the number of ailments are increasing day by day. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 believe that the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :national authoritypublic authority
government
 should be spent
 large amount of money on health education as well
 as preventative measures. While, other This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 the view, In my opinion Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.I
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquiesce
agree
 with this statement the authority should be spent
 huge amount of money on preventive measures This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 if This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 knowledge then they try to maintain healthy lifestyle. 

IELTS essay Because if people got knowledge then they went to try to stay healthy

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

75 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Labels Descriptions

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