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band some people think that internet has brought people closer together, while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. v. 1

band some people think that internet has brought people closer together, while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. v. 1 GMNVg
Internet is one of the most important tools of our daily life, from children to adult everybody use internet to keep in touch each oder. Especially during the last year, due to the pandemic crisis, internet has become probably the only way for most of us to socialize and to see and speak with our family. This Pandemic crisis accentuates the social features of Internet: during this year there have been not many possibilities to go out to socialize and to meet people and family members; most of us (including me and my family) didn’t even have the chance to have a Christmas Eve or a New Year’s Eve together but thanks to our computers, iPads and Smartphones it’s seems to all of us to stay a little bit less far away. Internet plays for sure an important role in our lives and probably this role will increase his position during the next years, with all our society indissolubly linked to the Internet for socialize. And it’s here that the events come to a head, could our social life be totally influenced and linked to the Internet? In my opinion Internet is important for our social life but we should always remember that the real world and the real life is outside of our laptop and unfortunately a lot of people (specially the young generation) forget about this. For example in Japan where the technology and the internet developed faster than in Europe there are a lot of teenagers that decide to retire their selfs in their room and keep only social contact through the Internet, they are called Hikikomori. In conclusion i think that we should thanks to the internet for helping us, specially in this period, to keep in contact each other but we should always remember that nothing can replace the emotion that you can feel with an hug.
Internet is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tools of our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, from children to adult everybody
The pronoun 'everybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "uses", "used".
use
internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch each
Possible spelling mistake found.
oder
.
Especially
during the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, due to the pandemic crisis, internet has become
probably
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way for most of us to socialize and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and speak with our family.

This Pandemic crisis accentuates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
features of Internet: during this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
there have been not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possibilities to go out to socialize and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and family members; most of us (including me and my family) didn’t even have the chance to have a Christmas Eve or a New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Year’s
Eve together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
thanks to our computers, iPads and Smartphones
Did you mean "it"?
it’s
seems to all of us to stay a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
less far away.

Internet plays for sure an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
probably
this role will increase his position during the
next
years, with all our society
indissolubly
linked to the Internet for socialize. And it’s here that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a head, could our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
be
totally
influenced and linked to the Internet?

In my opinion Internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should always remember that the real world and the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
our laptop and unfortunately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
(
specially
the young generation) forget about this.
For example
in Japan where the technology and the internet developed faster than in Europe there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
that decide to retire their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "selves", the plural form of the noun 'self'?
selfs
in their room and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
contact through the Internet, they
are called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hikikomori
.

In conclusion
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "thank"
thanks
to the internet for helping us,
specially
in this period, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in contact each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should always remember that nothing can replace the emotion that you can feel with
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
hug.
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IELTS essay band some people think that internet has brought people closer together, while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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