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Atomic energy is becoming more and more popular energy source. However, some people argue that nuclear power puts life on the Earth to danger. What is your opinion?

Atomic energy is becoming more and more popular energy source. However, some people argue that nuclear power puts life on the Earth to danger. What is your opinion? VaBD
It has been argued by some people that nuclear power, generated by atomic energy and which has been turned in a more common source of electricity, offers expressive risk to life on the planet, which I have many reasons to agree with. Firstly, nuclear power is not a clean source of energy, as it results in a production of nuclear pollution, which can potentially contaminate the soil and its underneath water, therefore resulting in serious consequences for plants and animals in the area. Secondly, different than other sources of energy, not only is a nuclear station more challenging to be safely working, but it is also more susceptive to nuclear accidents, as it has happened in the past, in Chernobyl, for instance. Given that small amounts of nuclear molecules are needed to produce giant quantity of energy, minimal human mistakes can be turned into giant catastrophes, which makes it the most dangerous source of energy amongst all exiting ones. Finally, atomic electricity generators could be easily converted in places to produce and store atomic bombs that could potentially be used to thread enemy countries, leading to a new world war, which would result in the end of all existing life on Earth, as it has been already told by war specialists. In conclusion, given that nuclear power has a huge potential to pollute the environment, provoking large catastrophes, and lead to a possible third world war, it is clear that it can certainly offer dangerous to the life on the planet and its use should be restricted and vanished when possible.
It has
been argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that nuclear power, generated by atomic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and which has
been turned
in a more common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of electricity, offers expressive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to life on the planet, which I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with.

Firstly
, nuclear power is not a clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, as it results in a production of nuclear pollution, which can
potentially
contaminate the soil and its underneath water,
therefore
resulting in serious consequences for plants and animals in the area.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is a nuclear station more challenging to be
safely
working,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
susceptive
to nuclear accidents, as it has happened in the past, in Chernobyl,
for instance
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amounts of nuclear molecules
are needed
to produce giant quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, minimal human mistakes can
be turned
into giant catastrophes, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
amongst all exiting ones.

Finally
, atomic electricity generators could be
easily
converted in places to produce and store atomic bombs that could
potentially
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to thread enemy countries, leading to a new world war, which would result in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of all existing life on Earth, as it has been already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
by war specialists.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that nuclear power has a huge potential to pollute the environment, provoking large catastrophes, and lead to a possible third world war, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that it can
certainly
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to the life on the planet and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
should
be restricted
and vanished when possible.

IELTS essay Atomic energy is becoming more and more popular energy source. However, some people argue that nuclear power puts life on the Earth to danger. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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