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At the turn of new century, no one can turn a blind eye to enormous direct and indirect effects of jobs on individual’s lives, all over the world.

At the turn of new century, no one can turn a blind eye to enormous direct and indirect effects of jobs on individual’s lives, all over the world. bYoMg
At the turn of new century, no one can turn a blind eye to enormous direct and indirect effects of jobs on individual’s lives, all over the world. Actually, finding and commencing a great job is an inevitable and crucial juncture in people’s lives. A simple recognition of this argument lends our discussion on the question how people can choose an ideal job that leads them to make headway. Although some people adhere to this belief that people should get a job after his studies as soon as possible, in my vantage point, it is highly beneficial for individuals to spend more much time on studying and make choose a worthwhile job. The first aspect to point out is that what provokes people to choose an ideal job is gaining money. As a matter of fact, purposeful work play such as important role that people’s success heavily based on this crucial juncture. It goes without saying that, nowadays, people work hard to acquire much money and live conveniently. I believe that money indicates the amount of your success, so it is better to study hard, and spend a large percentage of your time to find a highly-paid job. Undoubtedly, when you have a great job, not only can you experience an independent life, but also you can support your family financially. As a result, having a great job with highly-paid is a significant merit of many years of study and work hard. Furthermore, another subtle point is that a sense of satisfaction can be considered as another advantage of having better employment with hard study. It is noteworthy that, nowadays, people spend most of their time at work, so it is very important that they enjoy when they work. Actually, if they do not enjoy, they will be lose the best of moments of their lives. According to a recent research conducted in my country, prominent psychologist are in the convection that people who are not interested by his work, neither can they keep on their jobs, nor can they reach a pinnacle of their occupation. Actually, the cheer enjoyment that you can gain when you have a great job cannot be compared with other things. As a consequence, having a deep sense of satisfaction is a remarkable benefit of spending much time for studying and finding a better job. On the whole, according to above-mentioned details and points, it is crystal-clear that with the development human modern’s society, it is a great requirement for people to find an ideal job that they can save money for having a promising future as well as they have a sense of satisfaction. It is high time we stopped overlooking the fact that people should find a job as soon as possible after graduation without evaluate their circumstances.
At the turn of new century, no one can turn a blind eye to enormous direct and indirect effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
on individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, all over the world. Actually, finding and commencing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is an inevitable and crucial juncture in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. A simple recognition of this argument lends our discussion on
This sounds awkward in English. The standard is "the question of how".
the question how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that leads them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
headway. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adhere to this belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible, in my vantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
, it is
highly
beneficial for individuals to spend more much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on studying and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
choose a worthwhile job.

The
first
aspect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
out is that what provokes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. As a matter of fact, purposeful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
play such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
success
heavily
based on this crucial juncture. It goes without saying that, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to acquire much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
conveniently
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
indicates the amount of your success,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, and spend a large percentage of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to find a
highly
-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Undoubtedly
, when you have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can you experience an independent life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
you can support your family
financially
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with
highly
-paid is a significant merit of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

Furthermore
, another subtle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
is that a sense of satisfaction can
be considered
as another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
better employment with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. It is noteworthy that, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that they enjoy when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Actually, if they do not enjoy, they will be
Consider using the past participle "lost"?
lose
the best of moments of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. According to a recent research conducted in my country, prominent psychologist are in the convection that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not
In English, people don't say "interested by'. They say, "interested in'. Did you mean "interested in"?
interested by
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, neither can they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, nor can they reach a pinnacle of their occupation. Actually, the cheer enjoyment that you can gain when you have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
cannot
be compared
with other things. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a deep sense of satisfaction is a remarkable benefit of spending much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for studying and finding a better job.

On the whole
, according to above-mentioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
, it is crystal-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that with the development human modern’s society, it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
requirement for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that they can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a promising future
as well
as they have a sense of satisfaction. It is high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
overlooking the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible after graduation without evaluate their circumstances.
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IELTS essay At the turn of new century, no one can turn a blind eye to enormous direct and indirect effects of jobs on individual’s lives, all over the world.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
465 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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