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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

It is said that currently in some countries, the number of younger adults is comparatively more than the number of the elderly. In my opinion, although this current situation benefits society more, irrespective of some drawbacks but in this essay, I will explore both sides of this circumstance. On one hand, possessing more population of young people compared to the older ones seems to be a reward to society and government. In fact, the more number of fresher and more energetic groups, the faster and easier development and progress will occur. In other words, when a large population includes young people the rate of society's productivity and efficiency would increase, and contrary the rate of purely consumerism would decline. Since it is obvious that the elderly play a role as consumers with high expenditure for a state, like the cost of eating, healthcare, citizenship, etc. As a result, the large population of them is not likely for the good of the government. On the other hand, the high population of young adults can spell some problems to societies. One of them relates to employment. Indeed, it is common to face high rates of unemployment in this case especially in developing countries. That is to say, countries with a limited capacity for hiring would not fulfill the requests of potential job seekers. Thus, not only would this problem be to the detriment of society itself but also the unemployed people will have trouble for a living. while this problem does not include the elderly and their population would not affect this aspect. In conclusion, the great population of young people in countries despite some disadvantages like unemployment could be beneficial, as it can bring about more and faster development for the society.
It
is said
that
currently
in
some
countries
, the number of younger adults is
comparatively
more than the number of the elderly. In my opinion, although this
current
situation benefits
society
more, irrespective of
some
drawbacks
but
in this essay, I will explore both sides of this circumstance.

On one hand, possessing more
population
of
young
people
compared to the older ones seems to be a reward to
society
and
government
. In fact, the more number of fresher and more energetic groups, the faster and easier development and progress will occur.
In other words
, when a large
population
includes
young
people
the rate of society's productivity and efficiency would increase, and contrary the rate of
purely
consumerism would decline. Since it is obvious that the elderly play a role as consumers with high expenditure for a state, like the cost of eating, healthcare, citizenship, etc.
As a result
, the large
population
of them is not likely for the
good
of the
government
.

On the other hand
, the high
population
of
young
adults can spell
some
problems to
societies
. One of them relates to employment.
Indeed
, it is common to face high rates of unemployment
in this case
especially
in developing
countries
.
That is
to say,
countries
with a limited capacity for hiring would not fulfill the requests of potential job seekers.
Thus
, not
only
would this problem be to the detriment of
society
itself
but
also
the unemployed
people
will have trouble for a living.
while
this problem does not include the elderly and their
population
would not affect this aspect.

In conclusion
, the great
population
of
young
people
in
countries
despite
some
disadvantages like unemployment could be beneficial, as it can bring about more and faster development for the
society
.
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IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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