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As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities , government are encouraging business to move to rural areas.

As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, government are encouraging business to move to rural areas. owB9
In this modern era, as transport and accommodation problems are inclining in large cities, authorities are encouraging business company migrate to rural areas. I believed that merits are more as compared to demerits, which i will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, there are many drawbacks about this statement. First and the foremost, population is increasing day by day then transport and accommodation facilities create problems in big cities. People are suffer in living area because nowadays accommodation is very expensive and people can live seven or eight in a house. Secondly, in big cities traffic are inclining because all people prefer own vehicles to travel one place to another place. So that's why many problems and diseases like heart attack, blood pressure and so on. This problem effect old generation. Moreover, if government should be provide job opportunities in rural areas then transport and accommodation can be reduced in big cities. On the other hand, there are many benefits why government are encouraging business to move to rural areas. Firstly, in rural areas can be increased the job opportunities then people do not migrate in urban cities for related to their work. Moreover, authorities should be provide good educational system, hospital and also other facilities then rural areas people do not move to urban cities and also reduced poverty. Furthermore, if government should be provide all facilities then in urban cities can reduced health issues and many other problems and also rural areas people can learn a new skills and after that create a self business in rural areas. In conclusion, there are many advantages and disadvantages like overpopulation in urban cities and less facilities available in rural areas. Moreover, also increased the chances of job opportunities.
In this modern era, as transport and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are inclining in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, authorities are encouraging business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. I believed that merits are more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to demerits, which
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks about this statement.
First
and the foremost, population is increasing day by day then transport and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
facilities create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are suffer in living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
seven or eight in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Secondly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
traffic are inclining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles to travel one place to another place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that's why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and diseases like heart attack, blood pressure and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "effects".
effect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation.
Moreover
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be
Consider using the past participle "provided"?
provide
job opportunities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
then transport and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
are encouraging business to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Firstly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can
be increased
the job opportunities then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not migrate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for related to their work.
Moreover
, authorities should be
Consider using the past participle "provided"?
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
educational system, hospital and
also
other facilities then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
poverty.
Furthermore
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be
Consider using the past participle "provided"?
provide
all facilities then in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
health issues and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and after that create a self business in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages and disadvantages like overpopulation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun facilities is countable.
less
facilities available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Moreover
,
also
increased the chances of job opportunities.

IELTS essay As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, government are encouraging business to move to rural areas.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
290 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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