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As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It has become increasingly common for people to access the news electronically rather than with traditional print media with many commentators suggesting that this could spell the end for newspapers. I would agree with this and think that in the future newspapers will disappear. First of all, news accessed online has much more interactivity than in a newspaper. Readers are given the option of commenting on stories, and discussing items on message boards. Furthermore, there is no limit to the number of photographs that could be included with a story with many sites even giving readers the opportunity to upload their own photos and videos. Another point to make is that news read on the internet is much more current than in a newspaper. It is possible for readers to read about breaking stories and watch these stories develop,   This is compared with newspapers which only report on the previous day’s events. As a result, they seem increasingly dated even before they hit the newsstands. Finally, online news offers readers much more choice and a wider range of information. It is possible to read the same story from a range of different sources on the internet Some people suggest that this allows for a more balanced view than only reading the story in one newspaper as you can compare different viewpoints and the way stories are presented. This is compared with traditional newspapers which have much more editorial bias. In conclusion, I would argue that in the future it will become increasingly difficult to sell newspapers. The fact that online news offers more interaction and choice and is more up to date means that traditional printed news will not be able to compete and will disappear.
It has become
increasingly
common for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
electronically
rather
than with traditional print media with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
commentators suggesting that this could spell the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in the future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
will disappear.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
accessed online has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more interactivity than in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
. Readers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the option of commenting on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
, and discussing items on message boards.
Furthermore
, there is no limit to the number of photographs that could
be included
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sites even giving readers the opportunity to upload their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
photos and videos.

Another point to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
read on the internet is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
than in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
. It is possible for readers to read about breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
develop,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
This
is compared
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
report on the previous day’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
As a result
, they seem
increasingly
dated even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they hit the newsstands.

Finally
, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
offers readers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more choice and a wider range of information. It is possible to read the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
from a range of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources on the internet 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
for a more balanced view than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
as you can compare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
viewpoints and the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
are presented
. This
is compared
with traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
which have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more editorial bias.

In conclusion
, I would argue that in the future it will become
increasingly
difficult to sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. The fact that online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
offers more interaction and choice and is more up to date means that traditional printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
will not be able to compete and will disappear.
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IELTS essay As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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