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In the future, robots and other forms of artificial intelligence may do the majority of the work that humans do today. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future, robots and other forms of artificial intelligence may do the majority of the work that humans do today. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages? My26N
It is said that the majority of work that human does today will be done by robots in near future. Although the androids can have increased productivity for industries, I strongly feel the benefits of this do not outweigh the drawbacks as unemployment will also be high. The prominent benefit of artificial intelligence is rise in the productivity of an organisation. This is so because, the programmed machinery can work for more hours when compared to limited time that a person can work, so the production levels can be increased as per demand. For instance, Adidas employed a software programmed machinery that can put specified colour on shoes made the organisation to produce more shoes as it can be run for more than 18 hours day. However, the advancement of artificial intelligence has adverse effects on people’s jobs. The biggest ramification that robots can have is increased unemployment. Artificial intelligence has the ability to perform the same work that multiple people can do which results in organisations choosing robots to replace men and women in their workforce. As a result of this, unemployment among people will prevail to a greater extent. For example, the automated self-checkout computers in many supermarkets have replaced checkout cashiers as they alleviate the organisations payroll from having more employees leaving many cashiers with no job to support themselves. In conclusion, although the artificial intelligence benefits industries to have more production in less time, I firmly believe the unemployment that they create will outweigh its advantages.
It
is said
that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that human does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
will
be done
by robots in near future. Although the androids can have increased productivity for industries, I
strongly
feel the benefits of this do not outweigh the drawbacks as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
will
also
be high.

The prominent benefit of artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
is rise in the productivity of an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the programmed machinery can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for more hours when compared to limited time that a person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the production levels can
be increased
as per demand.
For instance
, Adidas employed a software programmed machinery that can put specified
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
on shoes made the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to produce more shoes as it can
be run
for more than 18 hours day.
However
, the advancement of artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
has adverse effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s jobs.

The biggest ramification that robots can have
is increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
. Artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
has the ability to perform the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that multiple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can do which results in
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
choosing robots to replace
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in their workforce.
As a result
of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will prevail to a greater extent.
For example
, the automated self-checkout computers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
supermarkets have replaced checkout cashiers as they alleviate the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "organisations'" or "organisation's"?
organisations
payroll from having more employees leaving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cashiers with no job to support themselves.

In conclusion
, although the artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
benefits industries to have more production in less time, I
firmly
believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
that they create will outweigh its advantages.
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IELTS essay In the future, robots and other forms of artificial intelligence may do the majority of the work that humans do today. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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