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As people live longer and longer, the idea of cloning human being in order to provide spare parts is becoming a reality. The idead horrifies most people, yet is is no longer mere science fiction. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

As people live longer and longer, the idea of cloning human being in order to provide spare parts is becoming a reality. The idead horrifies most people, yet is is no longer mere science fiction. v. 1
At the beginning of time when people were new to this world, always feared nature, but always tried to overcome it. But gradually with the help of a tool, called "Science", we begin to conquer the world. With the help of science, a man's average life span now increased from twenty years to ninety years and that's why now-a-days, the human clone concept becomes a well discussed topic. But according to my view, increasing a person's life in an artificial way disrupts the life stability and also it gives more power to rich people and creates imbalance. We all know that everything has a bane and boon and science is also not different. Science helps us to give a certain amount of lifetime, which was merely a dream like hundred years ago. But if we stretch that span, then it will disrupt the natural life cycle and destroy the ecology. For an example, we can say that a living person nearly emits 343 kg of carbon dioxide directly or indirectly into the environment and expanding the living time will harm more. This can become a main ingredient for the cause of Global warming. Apart from those, our society is not perfect and there was always divided according to wealth and that will be same in future also. Human cloning is not cheap, so it is not like everyone can afford it. That's why the top layer of the society will be mainly beneficial with this latest invention of science. Not only this, but also it will be applicable for the persons whose intention is evil in the society as if they can accumulate enough money, they can also take benefit from cloning and can create huge social problems. To sum it up, intention of science has been always good, but not the implementer's. As history has many examples of human behaviour controlled by greed and lust and that can repeat again in the case of cloning as this will not be available for everyone in the society and will also create a deep and harmful impact in the environment.
At the beginning of time when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were new to this world, always feared nature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
always tried to overcome it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
gradually
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of a tool, called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Science
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to conquer the world. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
increased from twenty years to ninety years and that's why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
-a-days, the human clone concept becomes a well discussed topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
according to my view, increasing a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Consider replacing "in an artificial way" with the adverb for "artificial"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an artificial way
disrupts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
stability and
also
it gives more power to rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and creates imbalance.

We all know that everything has a bane and boon and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is
also
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to give a certain amount of lifetime, which was
merely
a dream like hundred years ago.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if we stretch that span, then it will disrupt the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
cycle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the ecology. For an example, we can say that a living person
nearly
emits 343 kg of carbon dioxide
directly
or
indirectly
into the environment and expanding the living time will harm more. This can become a main ingredient for the cause of Global warming.

Apart from those, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is not perfect and there was always divided according to wealth and that will be same in future
also
. Human cloning is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not like everyone can afford it. That's why the top layer of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will be
mainly
beneficial with this latest invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it will be applicable for the persons whose intention is evil in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as if they can accumulate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money, they can
also
take benefit from cloning and can create huge social problems.

To sum it up, intention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has been always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the implementer's. As history has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples of human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
controlled by greed and lust and that can
Consider using "repeat".
repeat again
in the case of cloning as this will not be available for everyone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and will
also
create a deep and harmful impact in the environment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay As people live longer and longer, the idea of cloning human being in order to provide spare parts is becoming a reality. The idead horrifies most people, yet is is no longer mere science fiction. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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