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As parents, they should be required to attend parenting courses every year to bring up their children well and give them a better environment for growth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As parents, they should be required to attend parenting courses every year to bring up their children well and give them a better environment for growth. wBVld
Many people believe that taking parenting courses is the best way for parents to help their children develop well. I strongly disagree with this opinion and this essay will give further explanations. On the one hand, there are a lot of benefits that parents could gain from parenting courses. Firstly, these courses provide parents with basic knowledge about how to raise children at different development stages. By that way, parents could have a deeper understanding into the needs and the psychology of children and then help them to maximize their potential and become more well-rounded people. Secondly, by taking parenting classes, mothers and fathers can gain more medical knowledge to deal with emergency situations. For example, first aid training courses provide parents with proper instruction to take care of children having a fever or a breathing issue. On the other hand, I think that parenting courses should not be compulsory. The first reason is that with families struggling financially, paying for parenting courses could put more burden on mothers and fathers, which makes them work overtime to make ends meet and then affects the time and money that they could spend on their children. Moreover, some parenting skills are innate when parents have a baby so it is not necessary to take a parenting course to ensure the development of children. For example, after giving birth, mothers and fathers can know how to soothe, hold and take care of a baby properly. In conclusion, while taking parenting courses could bring some certain benefits to help parents raise their children, they should not be made mandatory.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
is the best way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop well. I
strongly
disagree with this opinion and this essay will give
further
explanations.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could gain from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with basic knowledge about how to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
development stages. By that way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could have a deeper understanding into the needs and the psychology of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to maximize their potential and become more well-rounded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Secondly
, by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
classes, mothers and fathers can gain more medical knowledge to deal with emergency situations.
For example
,
first
aid training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with proper instruction to take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
having a fever or a breathing issue.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
should not be compulsory. The
first
reason is that with families struggling
financially
, paying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
could put more burden on mothers and fathers, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them work overtime to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and then affects the time and money that they could spend on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are innate when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a baby
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not necessary to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
to ensure the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, after giving birth, mothers and fathers can know how to soothe, hold and take care of a baby
properly
.

In conclusion
, while taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
could bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they should not
be made
mandatory.
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IELTS essay As parents, they should be required to attend parenting courses every year to bring up their children well and give them a better environment for growth.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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