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as countries become more developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes.

as countries become more developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. 3aLVJ
Nowadays, most countries have seen a sharp drop in the birth rate because people have been becoming nuclear family rather than extended family. In this essay, I will discuss the main cause of this and its impact on society. There is no doubt that the cost of living has become more expensive than before. This is because of a high rate of taxes for most important things such as accommodations, groceries, and education. Actually, the best example would be, in Saudi Arabia most people were able to buy a villa 25 years ago while now the majority cannot, they can only have a flat. Also, there was no value-added tax but today there is, however, there is no change for the people salary even after the VAT. As a result of this, most families have decided to have a smaller family so they can afford the cost of living. The main impact of small families on our society is mental health. This is because nuclear family tend to live alone and far away from their parents so they cannot have great support from their parents if they need help. The best example of this is, my friend Ahmed and his wife live in Dubai and their parents in Jeddah, sometimes they feel depressed and lonely, they need somebody to contact and encourage them but there are no family members nearby. As a result of this, they have become more introverted and just sitting at home and they do not have any desire to meet with people. In conclusion, there is no doubt that small families are more popular these days because of living cost. Although, this could lead to some mental health problems such as depression which is not useful for our society.
Nowadays, most countries have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a sharp drop in the birth rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been becoming nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
rather
than extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In this essay, I will discuss the main cause of this and its impact on society.

There is no doubt that the cost of living has become more expensive than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a high rate of taxes for most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things such as accommodations, groceries, and education. Actually, the best example would be, in Saudi Arabia most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a villa 25 years ago while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the majority cannot, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a flat.
Also
, there was no value-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
tax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
there is,
however
, there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
salary even after the VAT.
As a result
of this, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have decided to have a smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can afford the cost of living.

The main impact of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
on our society is mental health. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone and far away from their parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they cannot have great support from their parents if they need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. The best example of this is, my friend Ahmed and his wife
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Dubai and their parents in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jeddah
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they feel depressed and lonely, they need somebody to contact and encourage them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members nearby.
As a result
of this, they have become more introverted and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
home and
they do not have any desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, there is no doubt that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are more popular these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of living cost. Although, this could lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental health problems such as depression which is not useful for our society.
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IELTS essay as countries become more developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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