Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Artists need a certain amount of freedom to develop their creativity. Some people think that artists should have total freedom to express any thoughts and ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.11

Artists need a certain amount of freedom to develop their creativity. Some people think that artists should have total freedom to express any thoughts and ideas. v. 11
Artists require a certain amount of freedom for the development of their creativity whereas it is thought by some people that artists must have complete freedom for the expression of any thoughts and ideas. In my opinion, I believe that though art is a form of human expression and is vital for everyone, providing complete freedom to express all sorts of ideas would have detrimental effects on individuals and society. Innovative ideas which are portrayed through music, paintings and films are very beneficial for the community. For example, the most famous Italian painter Leonardo Da Vinci provided the world with the great idea of flying in an aeroplane although it was something unimaginable and unheard of by the people in that era. Such paintings give individuals opportunities to invent something remarkable which greatly benefits mankind up to the present day. On the other hand, when religion, casts and deities are wrongly represented by artists, it can cause havoc. For instance, the Bollywood movie Padmavat, directed by a well-known Indian director, stirred mayhem in the Northern parts of India as it portrayed cast systems which are considered reprehensible by the citizens. Moreover, political unrest and instability was also caused due to the freedom of expression by the director. In conclusion, art must be a safe and beneficial form of expression to the society and must not be a reason for creating unrest. Therefore, in order to maintain peace and harmony around the world, I believe that artists should not have complete freedom of expressing their thoughts and ideas.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Artists
require a certain amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
for the development of their creativity whereas it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expression
of any thoughts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
. In my opinion, I believe that though art is a form of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expression
and is vital for everyone, providing complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to express all sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
would have detrimental effects on individuals and society.

Innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
which
are portrayed
through music, paintings and films are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for the community.
For example
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Italian painter
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
Leonardo Da Vinci
provided the world with the great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
of flying in an
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
although it was something unimaginable and unheard of by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in that era. Such paintings give individuals opportunities to invent something remarkable which
greatly
benefits mankind up to the present day.

On the other hand
, when religion, casts and deities are
wrongly
represented by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
, it can cause havoc.
For instance
, the Bollywood movie
Possible spelling mistake found.
Padmavat
, directed by a well-known Indian director, stirred mayhem in the Northern parts of India as it portrayed cast systems which
are considered
reprehensible by the citizens.
Moreover
, political unrest and instability was
also
caused due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expression
by the director.

In conclusion
, art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a safe and beneficial form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expression
to the society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be a reason for creating unrest.
Therefore
, in order to maintain peace and harmony around the world, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
should not have complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
of expressing their thoughts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Artists need a certain amount of freedom to develop their creativity. Some people think that artists should have total freedom to express any thoughts and ideas. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts