Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts? l62J
Nowadays, more people tend to work on science and technology or do business instead of working on art fields, while art is deeply related to cultures so it is a globally important issue. In this essay the reasons and solutions are discussed. By the development of technology and consumer behavior of people over the world, youngsters choose their future jobs in regards to higher salaries. Even though these young people may have the potential and talent to become a very successful artist but they prefer to contribute in those fields of study which leads them towards more job opportunities with higher rate of income like computer science, IT, artificial intelligence and business occupations which are related to technology such as IT management or digital marketing. This tendency causes less attention to art subjects, namely performance art, calligraphy, painting or sculpture. First solution for this issue is that government can support artists by providing funds in order to persuade more people to indulge in arts. For instance, most art masterpieces by recent artists can be purchased by the government and then be exhibited in public fair or venues in order to help artists and also encourage audiences to understand the value of art. The other approach is instilling the value of art at schools by educating children about historical art or different aspects of art like musicals, performance, architecture, so that people would be exposed to the artistic environment from childhood and appreciate the aesthetic aspect of everything. In conclusion, all aspects of art have importance for our culture and if the artists’ salary was higher more people would tend to do artistic activities. It is government responsibility to solve this problem by funding and also increasing art hours at schools.
Nowadays, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to work on science and technology or do business
instead
of working on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
fields, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
deeply
related to cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is a globally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue. In this essay the reasons and solutions
are discussed
.

By the development of technology and consumer behavior of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over the world, youngsters choose their future jobs
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
higher salaries.
Even though
these young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have the potential and talent to become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they prefer to contribute in those fields of study which leads them towards more job opportunities with higher rate of income like computer science, IT, artificial intelligence and business occupations which
are related
to technology such as IT management or digital marketing. This tendency causes less attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
subjects,
namely
performance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, calligraphy, painting or sculpture.

First
solution for this issue is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
by providing funds in order to persuade more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to indulge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
For instance
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
masterpieces by recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and then
be exhibited
in public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
or venues in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and
also
encourage audiences to understand the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. The other approach is instilling the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
at schools by educating children about historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
like musicals, performance, architecture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
be exposed
to the artistic environment from childhood and appreciate the aesthetic aspect of everything.

In conclusion
, all aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
have importance for our culture and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists’
salary was higher more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would tend to do artistic activities. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
responsibility to solve this problem by funding and
also
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
hours at schools.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts