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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician xmmM6
Talents are inevitable, everyperson has their own talents and abilities that comes within them. It is said that there is beliefs that some people are born or inherited with inborn talent and qualities. But there is also assumptions like if a child is provided with proper coaching and guidance can achieve their goal in any kind of field for instance sports, music and performing artFirstly, Home is a first place where a individual especially children learn plethora of things. This is where, parenting plays a vital role, parents should always pay attention to his needs and what can be done to develop their interest and hobbies. For instance, According to a psychology study, if a child is taught about music and how to sing and if it is of his interest then it can keep them engaged and he can excel to become a great musician. Also education system should exert leisure activities other than only in curriculum studies this will help them to shape children's future from their hobbies and interest. In contrast, there are some people that are born with natural talent and they can succeed if they are willing to work hard. For example, if a child is a big fan of football football and that inspires him to become like one of them. And in order to achieve that the child tries to imitates, observes, practice and shows determination. So if a child has willingness and can work hard then it will enhance his inner abilities and skills. Therefore, I conclude that everyone has talent inside them, they just need more of proper direction, should have willingness and determination so they can reach upto great heights in whichever field they want.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Talents
are inevitable,
Possible spelling mistake found.
everyperson
has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
and abilities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
within them. It
is said
that
Did you mean "there are beliefs"?
there is beliefs
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are born
or inherited with inborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and qualities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is
also
assumptions like if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is provided
with proper coaching and guidance can achieve their goal in any kind of field
for instance
sports, music and performing
Possible spelling mistake found.
artFirstly
, Home is a
first
place where
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
individual
especially
children learn plethora of things. This is where, parenting plays a vital role, parents should always pay attention to his needs and what can
be done
to develop their interest and hobbies.
For instance
, According to a psychology study, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is taught
about music and how to sing and if it is of his interest then it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
engaged and
he can excel to become a great musician.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
education system should exert leisure activities other than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in curriculum studies this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to shape children's future from their hobbies and interest.
In contrast
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
are born
with natural
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
talent and
they can succeed if they are willing to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fan of
Possible typo: you repeated a word
football football
and that inspires him to become like one of them. And in order to achieve that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
tries to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "imitate".
imitates
, observes, practice and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
determination.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
has willingness and can work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
then it will enhance his inner abilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Therefore
, I conclude that everyone has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
inside them, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need more of proper direction, should have willingness and determination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can reach
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
great heights in whichever field they want.
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IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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