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Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? yXXpE
Working from home is a good thing for everyone in the whole planet, but the study from home is not that much good for the children. Because there are some catches for them. However, in this pandemic, there is no other way for children to study online. First, children are not safe in online. They abused and feel uncomfortable there for many negative sites just like hacking and adult content. Also, using a smartphone addicted them day by day. Nowadays children spend most of the time with gadgets. They do not enjoy their life in nature nor playing games without the virtual world. So before 18 years we should not give them a smartphone or only for a limited time for their actual needs. Smartphone addiction ruins their health and also it is bad for their eyes. On the other hand, there is no other way but to use technology for children to study in this situation because of the global pandemic across the world we all are lockdown in the home. So most of the people who can work from home they are doing their jobs and chlidren are studying on the internet. Without technology, it can not be done. So I think there is no problem with work from home by using technology but for the children, we have to assure that it can not addict them. If we can not make sure that then I can say it is a negative development rather than a positive development.
Working from home is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing for everyone in the whole planet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the study from home is not that much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
catches for them.
However
, in this pandemic, there is no other way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study online.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not safe in online. They abused and feel uncomfortable there for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like hacking and adult content.
Also
, using a smartphone addicted them day by day. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of the time with gadgets. They do not enjoy their life in nature nor playing games without the virtual world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
18 years we should not give them a smartphone or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for a limited time for their actual needs. Smartphone addiction ruins their health and
also
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for their eyes.

On the other hand
, there is no other way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study in this situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the global pandemic across the world we all are lockdown in the home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can work from home they are doing their jobs and
Possible spelling mistake found.
chlidren
are studying on the internet. Without technology, it can not
be done
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there is no problem with work from home by using technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
assure that it can not addict them. If we can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that then I can say it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
rather
than a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

IELTS essay Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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