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analyze the thing below and give me some insights

analyze the thing below and give me some insights pLee3
In most schools around the world, students have their own mobile phones. While these devices can undoubtedly play a role in safety, connectedness and even learning, many schools have chosen to restrict their use on campus. In my view, this is a positive step and can bring benefits not only academically but physically and socially too. Restricting phone use in the classroom itself can improve learning. This is simply because, without these devices, there are far fewer distractions for teachers and students. When a student has their phone in their lap or pocket, for instance, there is an irresistible urge to check constantly for texts, alerts or social media updates. Even the most observant teacher cannot prevent them from sneakily checking their messages or scrolling through this irrelevant material during the lesson. These endless distractions draw attention away from important educational matters and erode attention spans, which can have long-term effects on academic progress. A blanket ban on phones during class frees learners from this compulsive checking and allows them to focus. In addition, to banning phones in the classroom, a school that restricts their use outside class can also expect improvements in student wellbeing. Indeed, if phones are banned at lunchtime and recess, children are forced to engage in a more meaningful and perhaps active way with their classmates. They may play games, sports or simply sit and chat together, activities what are far healthier than sitting alone hunched over a screen. Without limitations enforced by the school, children simply cannot draw the line on their phone use. These social and physical benefits is only possible with strict mobile rules. In conclusion, despite phones are a part of our modern lives, I strongly feel that their use in schools should be limited. With firm boundaries and bans in some situations, students are able to learn better, strongthen friendships and engage in healthier pursuits.
In most
schools
around the world,
students
have their
own
mobile
phones
. While these devices can
undoubtedly
play a role in safety, connectedness and even learning,
many
schools
have chosen to restrict their
use
on campus. In my view, this is a
positive
step and can bring benefits not
only
academically
but
physically
and
socially
too.

Restricting
phone
use
in the classroom itself can
improve
learning. This is
simply
because
, without these devices, there are far fewer distractions for teachers and
students
. When a
student
has their
phone
in their lap or pocket,
for instance
, there is an irresistible urge to
check
constantly
for texts, alerts or social media updates. Even the most observant teacher cannot
prevent
them from
sneakily
checking their messages or scrolling through this irrelevant material during the lesson. These endless distractions draw attention away from
important
educational matters and erode attention spans, which can have long-term effects on academic progress. A blanket ban on
phones
during
class
frees learners from this compulsive checking and
allows
them to focus.

In addition
, to banning
phones
in the classroom, a
school
that restricts their
use
outside
class
can
also
expect
improvements in
student
wellbeing
.
Indeed
, if
phones
are banned
at lunchtime and recess, children
are forced
to engage in a more meaningful and perhaps active way with their classmates. They may play games, sports or
simply
sit and chat together, activities what are far healthier than sitting alone hunched over a screen. Without limitations enforced by the
school
, children
simply
cannot draw the line on their
phone
use
. These social and physical benefits is
only
possible with strict mobile
rules
.

In conclusion
, despite
phones
are a part of our modern
lives
, I
strongly
feel that their
use
in
schools
should
be limited
. With firm boundaries and bans in
some
situations,
students
are able to learn better,
strongthen
friendships and engage in healthier pursuits.
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IELTS essay analyze the thing below and give me some insights

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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