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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and the other measure are required.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and the other measure are required. 9Nkn
Some believes that opening or adding more parks, arenas and equipment would improve public health. While other argues that this would show little effect and wanted to apply new method to get better result. Despite of the fact that sport facilities motivate people to exercise, I believe that firstly people should be aware of their health meanwhile government should have to play vital role for it. On the one hand, increasing the facilities, equipment and parks will encourage people to involve in it. While they utilize that facilities their body will get sufficient exercise which leads them a healthy and happy life. For instance, Germany government opened many parks to exercise that resulted in reducing the obesity by 20%. Although, some are too lazy and unconscious about their physical health. They may be unaware about important of exercise. On the other hand, people are too busy in their business or job because of which they can’t get involved for exercise or may even be unconscious about their health. To get them known fitness campaign, programs about physical fitness should be introduce and information should be introduce to every person. For example, to reduce obesity in our country, government runs fitness campaign and broadcast benefits of exercise on radio and television which encourage more people to join gyms and aerobatic classes. So, making aware to people helps to improve public health. To conclude, public health would not improve with adding facilities alone, being conscious about own health is also important the same. Which will further improve public health and helps to reduce obesity.
Some
believes that opening or adding more parks, arenas and equipment would
improve
public
health
. While other argues that this would
show
little
effect and wanted to apply new method to
get
better result.
Despite of
the fact that sport facilities motivate
people
to
exercise
, I believe that
firstly
people
should be aware of their
health
meanwhile
government
should
have to
play vital role for it.

On the one hand, increasing the facilities, equipment and parks will encourage
people
to involve in it. While they utilize that facilities their body will
get
sufficient
exercise
which leads them a healthy and happy life.
For instance
, Germany
government
opened
many
parks to
exercise
that resulted in reducing the obesity by 20%. Although,
some
are too lazy and unconscious about their physical
health
. They may be unaware about
important
of exercise.

On the other hand
,
people
are too busy in their business or job
because
of which they can’t
get
involved for
exercise
or may even be unconscious about their
health
. To
get
them known fitness campaign, programs about physical fitness should be
introduce
and information should be
introduce
to every person.
For example
, to
reduce
obesity in our country,
government
runs fitness campaign and broadcast benefits of
exercise
on radio and television which encourage more
people
to
join
gyms and aerobatic classes.
So
, making aware to
people
helps
to
improve
public
health.

To conclude
,
public
health
would not
improve
with adding facilities alone, being conscious about
own
health
is
also
important
the same. Which will
further
improve
public
health
and
helps
to
reduce
obesity.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and the other measure are required.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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