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An increasing the number of tv advertisements on tv aim

It is true that the number of TV advertisements which aim at children is increasing. Television advertising has affected young people in several ways, and in my opinion TV advertisements should not be controlled. TV adventising has had a positive influence on children's growth and development in various ways. Firstly, it is highly believed that TV advertisements which have lively animation and interesting songs allow young people to nurture their imagination. It is undeniable that imagination plays an important role in children's development. For example, youngsters, thanks to great nature scenes or vivid characters such as princesses, princes and other comic characters, can push their imagination to be more creative and or enhance their world knowledge. Secondly, TV advertising can strengthen the relationship between parents and their oflsprings. If parents spend time on enjoying television advertisements with their children, they will share laughs and happiness together. TV advertising should not be controlled for some reasons. One reason is that this can provide young people with 151 the chance to grow well. Not only do TV advertisements have good influences on children's emotion and behavior, but it also gives them moral messages. For instance, advertisements provokes youngsters to stay clean such as brushing teeth every day in order to keep their teeth healthy, or washing hands before eating. Furthermore, it is because of television advertising which aims at children that parents and their offsprings can know about the variety of qualified products for them.
It is true that the number of TV
advertisements
which aim at children is increasing. Television advertising has
affected
young
people
in several ways, and in my opinion TV
advertisements
should not
be controlled
. TV
adventising
has had a
positive
influence on children's growth and development in various ways.
Firstly
, it is
highly
believed that TV
advertisements
which have lively animation and interesting songs
allow
young
people
to nurture their imagination. It is undeniable that imagination plays an
important
role in children's development.
For example
, youngsters, thanks to great nature scenes or vivid characters such as princesses, princes and other comic characters, can push their imagination to be more creative and or enhance their world knowledge.
Secondly
, TV advertising can strengthen the relationship between parents and their
oflsprings
. If parents spend time on enjoying television
advertisements
with their children, they will share laughs and happiness together. TV advertising should not
be controlled
for
some
reasons. One reason is that this can provide young
people
with 151 the chance to grow well. Not
only
do TV
advertisements
have
good
influences on children's emotion and behavior,
but
it
also
gives them moral messages.
For instance
,
advertisements
provokes youngsters to stay clean such as brushing teeth every day in order to
keep
their teeth healthy, or washing hands
before
eating.
Furthermore
, it is
because
of television advertising which aims at children that parents and their offsprings can know about the variety of qualified products for them.
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IELTS essay An increasing the number of tv advertisements on tv aim

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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