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Smacking children is the best way to discipline. To what extent do you agree?

Educational approaches are invariably a controversial topic. Some people are of the opinion that violent treatment is the best one to educate children. This essay will argue why using power over children is completely unnecessary. Some parents claim that it is justifiable to use power over their offsprings. It is obvious that children's behaviors would enhance immediately as a result of fear. Parents would gain the educational goals without much patient. In fact, this kind of approach is still common, especially in Asia. Contrary to the popular belief, it is a fact that violent punishment is an absolutely appropriate. People often claim that they possess the right to select their educational methods, however, the idea of using violent treatment as the main method is entirely preposterous. Children tend to be frightened by their parents, not to respect them. Additionally, there is scientific evidence that violence could potentially cause mental disorder. Indeed, individuals treated violently at their childhood period would tend to be more brutal than normal persons. People think that violent punishment is an effective way to reinforce children, but they could not be further from the truth. In conclusion, this essay argued why using power over children cannot be a major approach in order to reinforce the learning process of them. I firmly believe that there are a variety of better methods.
Educational approaches are
invariably
a controversial topic.
Some
people
are of the opinion that
violent
treatment is the best one to educate
children
. This essay will argue why using power over
children
is completely unnecessary.

Some
parents claim that it is justifiable to
use
power over their offsprings. It is obvious that children's behaviors would enhance immediately
as a result
of fear. Parents would gain the educational goals without much patient. In fact, this kind of approach is
still
common,
especially
in Asia. Contrary to the popular belief, it is a fact that
violent
punishment is an
absolutely
appropriate.

People
often
claim that they possess the right to select their educational methods,
however
, the
idea
of using
violent
treatment as the main method is
entirely
preposterous.
Children
tend to
be frightened
by their parents, not to respect them.
Additionally
, there is scientific evidence that violence could
potentially
cause mental disorder.
Indeed
, individuals treated
violently
at their childhood period would tend to be more brutal than normal persons.
People
think
that
violent
punishment is an effective way to reinforce
children
,
but
they could not be
further
from the truth.

In conclusion
, this essay argued why using power over
children
cannot be a major approach in order to reinforce the learning process of them. I
firmly
believe that there are a variety of better methods.
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IELTS essay Smacking children is the best way to discipline.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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