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An increasing number of people do not know their neighbours, and there is no longer a sense of community. What do you think are the causes of this situation? Can you suggest some solutions?

An increasing number of people do not know their neighbours, and there is no longer a sense of community. What do you think are the causes of this situation? Can you suggest some solutions? E8PQ
In the modern era, everyone is busy with achieving their goal and making their career so they do not have enough time to know their neighbours and individuals are leading to self-centred lives. There are many causes of this, however, some solutions too, which can curb this issue. Both reasons and remedies are given in the ensuing paragraphs. The reason why people are not knowing their neighbours are, firstly, nowadays the inhabitants of this world are too busy to match with the materialistic era. All the people want the best lifestyle and to get this they are busy to earn more. Though of this, they become workaholics and they do overtime to earn extra to get luxuries and peaceful life in this contemporary era. Secondly, the human being of today generation does not like to share their current affairs with anyone. finally, due to advancement in technology the individuals have television and mobile phone of their own so they are ideal into that and because of that they already become self-centred. Also because of this, today parents do not say their children to play outdoor games. There is some solution to address the problem. First and foremost, individuals should take some time off from their work when there are any festivals arrive and they should meet their neighbours and celebrate festivals with them. secondly, the society committee should arrange a potluck and dinner for the whole society because of which all the members of the society came together and spend some time with each other. so they properly came to know about their neighbours. Last but not least, all parents should encourage their children to play outdoor games with other kids in society. In conclusion, everyone forgets the importance of community and, people are busy in other activities. So, individuals meet with their new neighbours and do help in different sorts of works with it, everybody easily knows about their neighbours.
In the modern era, everyone is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
with achieving their goal and making their career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to know their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are leading to
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-centred
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes of this,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions too, which can curb this issue. Both reasons and remedies are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the ensuing paragraphs. The reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The verb 'knowing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are not knowing
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
are,
firstly
, nowadays the inhabitants of this world are too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
to match with the materialistic era. All the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want the best lifestyle and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
to earn more. Though of this, they become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
workaholics and
they do overtime to earn extra to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
luxuries and peaceful life in this contemporary era.
Secondly
, the human being of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
generation does not like to share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs with anyone.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
finally
, due to advancement in technology the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
have television and mobile phone of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are ideal into that and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that they already become
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-centred
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
because of this
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
parents do not say their children to play outdoor games.

There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solution to address the problem.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time off from their work when there are any festivals
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
arrive and
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
and celebrate festivals with them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, the society committee should arrange a potluck and dinner for the whole society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which all the members of the society came together and spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time with each other.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
they
properly
came to know about their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, all parents should encourage their children to play outdoor games with other kids in society.

In conclusion
, everyone forgets the importance of community and,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
in other activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with their new
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
and do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sorts of works with it, everybody
easily
knows about their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
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IELTS essay An increasing number of people do not know their neighbours, and there is no longer a sense of community. What do you think are the causes of this situation? Can you suggest some solutions?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
321 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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