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an exciting experience you’ve had recently.

an exciting experience you’ve had recently. PMA9j
Almost 3 or 4 month old, I've had a really interesting trip to the north of Iran, the greenest place in my incredible country. I took a train ticket to Sari. It was my first trip after military service and I was pretty excited about it. A friend of mine called Hossein lived in Ghaemshahr, a city north of Iran, and I was supposed to be with him. He is pretty fun and a good reader and the most introverted guy that I've ever known. I arrived there at 10 O'clock in the morning and he was there at the train station to visit me. Then he and I went to a cafe to drink a cup of coffee. The coffee cost about 8, 000 Toman and It was totally cheap. After drinking coffee, we got a van to go to his home. During the trip I went into the jungle of the north for 4 day and I've seen many thousands of trees. There is a river near hosein house that is beautiful and pretty nice. Mazandaran province has a great culture with friendly people. They are generous and you can trust them to ask for helping and favors. When I was there I didn't have swimming trunks to swim in the river so I asked my friend for it and he gave me one of his swimming trunks. I remember when I was child I had gone to a couple of cities in Iran such as Esfahan, Shiraz, Dezful and Of course Tehran. I would always go to Tehran if I had time free for vacations. When I was in the jungle, I started to take many pictures from incredible environment. I've taken about 400 pictures from there and I'm happy to save pictures on my computer. Now I can review my amazing trip by looking at pictures and enjoy the most intersting time that I've had there. if I had free time again, I'd like to return there and visit more beautiul places.
Almost 3 or 4
Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: "months".
month
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
I've
had a
The extreme adjective for interesting is "fascinating", or "exciting".
really interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to the north of Iran, the greenest place in my incredible country. I took a train ticket to Sari. It was my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
after military
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
service and
I was pretty excited about it. A friend of mine called Hossein
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ghaemshahr
, a city north of Iran, and I
was supposed
to be with him. He is pretty fun and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reader and the most introverted guy that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
I've
ever known. I arrived there at 10 O'clock in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
morning and
he was there at the train station to visit me. Then he and I went to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
to drink a cup of coffee. The coffee cost about 8, 000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'Toman' seems to be countable, so consider using: "tomans".
Toman
and It was
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
. After drinking coffee, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a van to go to his home. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
I went into the jungle of the north for 4 day and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
I've
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
thousands of trees. There is a river near
Possible spelling mistake found.
hosein
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and pretty nice.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mazandaran
province has a great culture with friendly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They are generous and you can trust them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
helping and favors. When I was there I didn't have swimming trunks to swim in the river
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I asked my friend for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
he gave me one of his swimming trunks.

I remember when I was child I had gone to a couple of cities in Iran such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Esfahan
, Shiraz,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dezful
and
Of course
Tehran. I would always go to Tehran if I had time free for vacations. When I was in the jungle, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
from incredible environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
I've
taken about 400
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
from there and I'm happy to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
on my computer.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I can review my amazing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
by looking at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
and enjoy the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
intersting
time that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
I've
had there.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
I had free time again, I'd like to return there and visit more
Possible spelling mistake found.
beautiul
places.
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IELTS essay an exciting experience you’ve had recently.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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