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An activity that you enjoy that takes place in or near water

An activity that you enjoy that takes place in or near water g57VO
I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE like to spend their time near the water. Because it is the best and most effective way to spend time. Spending time there relaxes the human brain. Since there is peace and scenic beauty. I have visited many places where near the water and I enjoyed the scenic beauty and vast water very much. I would like to talk about a river I visited two years back. One day we decided to go near water and we prepared things what we need and we took them with us. Then we went there in the afternoon. We do a lot of activities there. My father and my brother went to fishing. And my mother and I cooked fish. My sister made a tower out of sand. We enjoyed being near the water. After that we started to go near the water very fast.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A LOT OF
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
like to spend their time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is the best and most effective way to spend time. Spending time there relaxes the human brain. Since there is peace and scenic beauty. I have visited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and I enjoyed the scenic beauty and vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much. I would like to talk about a river I visited two years back. One day we decided to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
water and
we prepared things what we
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
need and
we took them with us. Then we went there in the afternoon. We do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
activities there. My father and my brother went to fishing. And my mother and I cooked fish. My sister made a tower out of sand. We enjoyed being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
near
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.
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IELTS essay An activity that you enjoy that takes place in or near water

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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