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All young men should have a short period of military training after finishing their studies. How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

All young men should have a short period of military training after finishing their studies. How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer. L3rYn
It is widely believed that many countries have compulsory military service for men after they leave school. While there are good arguments both for and against the issue, I believe that both criteria should be given equal consideration. To a certain extent, I agree that this rule should be there in every country due to this will not only strengthen the armed forces of the country but will also improve the health and security of people. Firstly, Nations have begun to use machines more than men in wars, but the importance of human soldiers cannot be overlooked. If military service is mandatory, people will have no choice but to join the army for a few years. This will help strengthen the army. Moreover, health is another area where people will be benefited from joining the military. Rigorous exercises and activities help in strengthening both mind and body. Increasing fat in people can be dealt with only by physical exercise. In contrast, I believed that military service also has its disadvantages. If one has to do military service right after finishing school, the results of military training will have no real effect. The country forces young people to perform their duties so they will do their jobs with reluctance and no effort to fulfill their duties. Furthermore, this doesn't seem fair to someone smart enough to be a doctor or scientist. This is because youth is the most suitable time for people to broaden their horizons and joining the army is considered a waste of the country's talents. It not only affects the development of the country but also destroys a person's dream. In conclusion, I think short-term military adoption for men has both advantages and disadvantages. However, these governments should adjust their policies to suit their conditions so that both sides benefit between the government and the people.
It is
widely
believed that
many
countries
have compulsory military
service
for
men
after they
leave
school. While there are
good
arguments both for and against the issue, I believe that both criteria should be
given
equal consideration.

To a certain extent, I
agree
that this
rule
should be there in every
country
due to this will not
only
strengthen the armed forces of the
country
but
will
also
improve
the health and security of
people
.
Firstly
, Nations have begun to
use
machines more than
men
in wars,
but
the importance of human soldiers cannot
be overlooked
. If military
service
is mandatory,
people
will have no choice
but
to
join
the army for a few years. This will
help
strengthen the army.
Moreover
, health is another area where
people
will
be benefited
from joining the military. Rigorous exercises and activities
help
in strengthening both mind and body. Increasing
fat
in
people
can
be dealt
with
only
by physical exercise.

In contrast
, I believed that military
service
also
has its disadvantages. If one
has to
do military
service
right after finishing school, the results of military training will have no real effect. The
country
forces young
people
to perform their duties
so
they will do their jobs with reluctance and no effort to fulfill their duties.
Furthermore
, this doesn't seem
fair
to someone smart
enough
to be a doctor or scientist. This is
because
youth is the most suitable time for
people
to broaden their horizons and joining the army
is considered
a waste of the country's talents. It not
only
affects the development of the
country
but
also
destroys
a person's dream.

In conclusion
, I
think
short-term military adoption for
men
has both advantages and disadvantages.
However
, these
governments
should adjust their policies to suit their conditions
so
that both sides benefit between the
government
and the
people
.
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IELTS essay All young men should have a short period of military training after finishing their studies. How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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