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ALL METHODS USED IN ADVERTISING ARE UNETHICAL AND UNACCEPTABLE IN TODAY S SOCIETY TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE WITH THIS VIEW v.1

ALL METHODS USED IN ADVERTISING ARE UNETHICAL AND UNACCEPTABLE IN TODAY S SOCIETY 1
It is argued that social problems and poverty cause crime while others think that crime is related to one's personality. In my opinion, bad situations that people face encourage them to turn to crime, also nature could be a reason. I will discuss both points of view. On the one hand, some people think that poorness encourages people to turn to crime in order to pay bills and meet family responsibilities. In order words, unemployment can lead people to crime due to financial pressure and also lack of structure in their daily lives. To exemplify this, a research by the World Bank found that there is an increasing crime rate in countries which have low employment like Mexico. Apparently, there is a close relationship between involving in crime and unemployment. In addition, young people can easily turn to crime from peer pressure and lack of parental guidance. On the other hand, some people suppose the thing that push people to crime is their personality. In other words, people get involved in it because of their bad personality traits. It is known that some people turn to crime because of the image of the power and courage which they associated with it. For instance, a study by a newspaper found that some thieves steal because they want to revenge, attract attention and to test their courage. Finally, in my opinion, one of the most important causes of crime is poorness. Personality has very little contribution to it. People don't take a risk to go to jail because of their quest for adventure. They need to have true reasons like trying to afford family needs. These reasons encourage them to offence. It is government responsibility that offer its citizens employment, so that people could live in prosperity without getting involved in misbehave. To sum up, nobody turns to violation unless there is a reason such as poorness. Character identity has very little proportion of it.
It
is argued
that social problems and poverty cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is related
to one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
. In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situations that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face encourage them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turn
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
also
nature could be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
. I will discuss both points of view.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that poorness encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turn
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in order to pay bills and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
family responsibilities. In order words, unemployment can lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
due to financial pressure and
also
lack of structure in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To exemplify this,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
by the World Bank found that there is an increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in countries which have low employment like Mexico.
Apparently
, there is a close relationship between involving in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and unemployment.
In addition
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turn
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
from peer pressure and lack of parental guidance.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suppose the thing that push
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
traits. It
is known
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turn
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the image of the power and courage which they associated with it.
For instance
, a study by a newspaper found that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
thieves steal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to revenge, attract attention and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
their courage.

Finally
, in my opinion, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is poorness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personality
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
contribution to it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
don't take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to go to jail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their quest for adventure. They need to have true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
like trying to afford family needs. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
encourage them to
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
responsibility that offer its citizens employment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in prosperity without getting involved in misbehave.

To sum up, nobody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turns
to violation unless there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
such as poorness. Character identity has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
proportion of it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay ALL METHODS USED IN ADVERTISING ARE UNETHICAL AND UNACCEPTABLE IN TODAY S SOCIETY 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
323 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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